Stuff Frat People Like: Sorority Bid Day

My friends, I am here to warn you of an oncoming epidemic plaguing campuses across the nation. This infestation knows no bounds, and will soon wrap its clutches around each and every part of our immaculate campuses. What on earth could I be talking about you may ask? It isn’t swine flu, SARS, or the clap, I assure you. This outbreak is the massive influx of naive masses of freshmen students.

But fear not, for there is a silver lining to this dismal situation: the Class of 2015 females who will soon be embracing the benefits of a rambunctious Greek lifestyle.

While these freshmen girls may be untrained in the finer points of the collegiate experience (still think handjobs are an OK substitute for sex), in a few short weeks these girls will be corralled through each sorority house, and judged by hundred of ruthless sorority women. This beautiful process sorts the bovines from the potential slams, and while the sorority girls may despise it, we see it as a true blessing. Less work for us.

Come bid day, an entire pledge class full of these fledgling freshmen girls will be thrown face first (literally) into our pristine world of casual hookups, binge drinking, and stimulant abuse. However your school handles bid day, be it a full on “running of the bulls” stampede through campus, or a more subtle (and probably more respectful) saunter to their respective houses, the aftermath of bid day is the highlight.

Each sorority is encouraged to show off their “babies” to us, the esteemed and not at all disrespectful fraternity men eagerly waiting to meet our new Greek peers. What follows is one of the drunkest most interesting nights on campus by far.

These girls are by no means prepared for the massive quantities of alcohol we consume on a regular basis, and it shows. It is not uncommon to see these “precious babies” sickly submerging their faces in a toilet bowl, or unconscious in a parking lot by midnight. A select few girls persist, and I assure you my brothers, these are the one’s you want to pay attention to.

Just be cautious about the intoxication level of your potential slams through the night to prevent a potential vomit-on-dick catastrophe. There’s only one thing worse than blue balls, and that’s blue balls covered in puke.

    1. Danny Devitbro

      I just need two, maybe three buckets of KFC, extra crispy, probably four cartons of gravy to poop on all of them.

      13 years ago at 5:05 am
  1. browy_owl

    “There’s only one thing worse than blue balls, and that’s blue balls covered in puke.” True fucking story

    13 years ago at 12:48 pm
    1. The_Brofessional

      I didn’t realize that anyone would ever be so naive as to call a group of Thetas, “Kappa.”

      13 years ago at 1:28 pm
  2. daddysdarling

    I’m going to be a freshman and reading this just made me 1000 times more excited for recruitment!!

    13 years ago at 12:48 pm
    1. maryjanekaydee

      Why do you even have an account on here if you aren’t in a sorority yet?

      13 years ago at 1:08 pm
    2. pearlslillyandKD

      You can read as much as you want, but until you’re actually in a sorority having an account on here just makes you a poser.

      AOT maryjanekaydee!

      13 years ago at 1:14 pm
    3. PTG Beauregard

      Or because you’re either A) a slut who’s ok with 1001 guys dicking you, or B) a troll account. Gee, I wonder.

      13 years ago at 1:17 pm
    4. daddysdarling

      And this is the cattiness typical of sorority girls that I can’t wait to experience! 😀 And who uses the word ‘poser’ anymore?

      13 years ago at 1:17 pm
    5. Fratlanta Falcons

      daddysdarling, there are a shining example of why this site went downhill. please keep your mouth shut until you actually enter the system. until then, nobody cares what a high schooler thinks.

      13 years ago at 4:12 pm
    6. daddysdarling

      I was just saying how excited I am to join the Greek community, sorry ’bout it.

      13 years ago at 4:36 pm
    7. Gov_Lester Maddox

      ^She has no fucking idea what she is doing. I hope they are all as stupid as she is… winning.

      13 years ago at 4:56 pm
    8. CaptainBrohab

      I can already guarantee this girl will get spun around so many times she won’t know which way is up.

      13 years ago at 7:14 pm
    9. lovemysisters

      I can almost guarantee that you being so excited will make you automatically in the no pile for most sororities…

      13 years ago at 8:30 pm
    10. Kaydee2524

      daddysdarling… you have yet to realize that if you mess with one sister, you mess with them all. yes you are a little high school poser (or maybe FAKE is the correct term) that obvis has no clue what you are going to get into in the fall. You have much growing up to do so i suggest taking the advice of strangers and getting off this site until you have earned the right to say you are a sorority woman. Bless your heart, and good luck in recruitment.

      13 years ago at 9:58 pm
    11. Costa Vision

      Ever think that she could possibly be a legacy and that is why she is excited. Stop acting like you matter and get over yourselves.

      13 years ago at 7:42 am
    12. KappilyClassy

      Just because you’re a legacy doesn’t mean you’re immune to being a slut. This girl would NEVER get a bid from my chapter.

      13 years ago at 9:25 am
    13. FratMaximusBrodius

      All you sluts need to go take a long walk off a short cliff.

      “This girl would NEVER get a bid from my chapter.”

      Have you even met the girl, knows what she looks like, etc.? No, so shut-up and go fold the clothes.

      13 years ago at 1:43 pm
    14. Kappa G in Lilly P

      To get in on this, although I hate seeing gdi’s on here, I don’t think she crossed the line too far by saying she was excited for recruitment. It’s not like she’s submitting tsm’s, give her a break… Personally, from the sarcastic and confident demeanor she’s portrayed so far, if she’s pretty, she just might do quite well in rush. 🙂

      13 years ago at 2:08 pm
    15. Good Frattributes

      Wait KappilyKlassy are you saying that your sorority only takes non-sluts? How is it that all of the Kappas I know are the sluttiest girls on campus? Is it something you get taught as a new member?

      Honestly take a lap you could probably use it.

      13 years ago at 2:15 pm
    16. bowsandhoes_1897

      Um, pardon me, but I would much rather have a happy, excited rushee than a snobby stick in the mud.

      13 years ago at 12:53 am
  3. Robert S Fratnamara

    This article kinda makes me wish I hadn’t recently graduated… Sad.

    13 years ago at 1:10 pm
    1. carolinahaze

      Since when does that matter? Being the creepy older guy who still fucks row hoes – TFTC.

      13 years ago at 1:46 pm
    2. BROwnOutOfProportion

      The rule of thumb is it’s okay to keep nailing sorostitutes on a regular basis for up to 5 years after you finish your undergrad. That way some of the brothers you initiated are still in the fratcastle. After that it’s just creepy, unless it’s a national holiday, alumni weekend, or alternating Saturdays.

      13 years ago at 2:03 pm
    3. MightBePike

      As long as you were in undergrad with current actives that aren’t in their 6th year or more then banging active Sorosties is ok.

      13 years ago at 9:54 pm
    1. hazeway

      Second to Syllabus Eve, where everyone gets fucked up the night before classes start because all you do is go over syllabi(syllabusses?).

      13 years ago at 1:44 pm
    2. peacelovelyre

      My school calls it Blackout Monday. Any other names your school’s call it?

      13 years ago at 3:38 pm
  4. Mward2002

    I think I may be seeing things, but were there a few attractive AGD’s in one of those pics?

    13 years ago at 1:45 pm
    1. Mward2002

      Don’t be pissed because your little sister got a bid there and now she’s going to get railed by some bottom tier or a cargo short wearing geed.

      13 years ago at 11:05 pm
    2. Alpha Glam

      Agreed! Seeing this picture is tragic. Those women are def not living up to our Purpose.

      13 years ago at 11:06 am
    3. PearlsandSquirrels07

      This picture def does not uphold the purpose and standards of Alpha Gamma Delta. This breaks my heart…

      13 years ago at 5:02 pm