Team USA Basketball Players Went To A Rio Brothel By “Accident” Thinking It Was A Spa

Team USA

With the competition in Rio providing very little entertainment for this year’s version of the Dream Team, the NBA stars willing to sacrifice their vacations for their country need something to entertain them on their way to the gold. So when the locals suggest an establishment rife with girls, booze, and massages, a few players decided to venture to this spa.

Only problem was that this “spa” was actually a brothel. Classic mix-up. They didn’t stay long according to sources.

From TMZ:

A source close to the team tells us the players got the standard line, so they assumed it was kosher. The source said, “They realized it wasn’t the right place for them and immediately left.”

As for what happened inside, the players were only seen hanging at the bar. Multiple sources tell us they bought booze … nothing more.

Sure, they may claim this was an accident, but why are they still getting drinks at the bar? When you walk into a bar you know you don’t want to be at, you walk right out and on to the next. You don’t stick around and order brews.

Unfortunately, Rio isn’t as repressed in their open sexuality as we are domestically, with the supposed spa in actuality a brothel. The Americans, which in one of the least surprising headlines in history included DeMarcus “Boogie” Cousins, are said to have “immediately left” after realizing the unsavory nature of the establishment.

TMZ, where is your patriotism? While our equipment managers and coaching staff would likely still win Gold, if there’s one thing we know in this country it’s that the bigger the win the better. We need our athletes in top condition, not swinging blue balls around the Olympic court.

[via TMZ]

Image via YouTube

  1. YoungAndDisappointing

    “Sacrificing your vacation” to stay aboard a cruise ship and play on the world stage. #TFM

    10 years ago at 11:46 am
    1. Drunken haze

      Yeah I have a hunch that they knew where they were going. Hence the quotations around the world accidentally in the title of the article. Maybe don’t be an idiot, thanks.

      10 years ago at 1:48 am
    1. maroonandgold

      It would have been the end all, be all of NBA headlines if it involved adultery.

      10 years ago at 12:39 pm
  2. Dan Kweed

    Ayesha Curry didn’t let Steph go to Rio because she knew shit like this was going to happen.

    10 years ago at 6:05 pm