professor democratic socialism

A Texas Professor Uses Democratic Socialism When Grading Tests, Lowering Some Students’ Grades

professor democratic socialism

The first article I ever wrote for TFM back when I was a sophomore (when I was still an anonymous troll and had no idea dicking around on a website would ever turn into a full-time job) was about setting the curve on college exams, and how busy, middle-of-the-road students who have better things to do (like make freshmen eat the individual ingredients of a cake, or skip class to get in on a drink special) hate the nerds who do it. But nerds gonna nerd, and the curve continues to be set at levels that offer little-to-no help to those of us who received an uncurved score resembling Jared Allen’s jersey number divided by 2.

That is, until this professor at a University of Texas System school decided to go full Denmark on his grading scale by taking a tip from Bernie Sanders’ playbook and socializing exam scores. Check out this email he sent out to his students.

test

This is the attached file:

bern

This professor is taking grade points away from the mentally privileged and giving it, free of charge, to the undetermined, unmotivated students of America. And, for the first time ever, the conservative students sitting in the back row with empty notebooks and water bottles full of dip spit aren’t outraged by their professor’s socialist ideologies.

I can see why this professor thinks this foray into socialized teaching is a victory for him and his socialist pals, but come on dude. These curve-setting nerds have nothing going for them except getting good grades. They don’t go out, they don’t hang out with friends, and they only have three friends: their pocket protector, their favorite beverage (milk), and their protractor. To them, getting an A is equivalent to having sex (an A+ is anal). They have nothing going for them except their grades. Think about the nerds next time, teach.

But, like I said, by all means keep grading shit this way. You won’t hear those kids sitting in the back complain.

Image via Shutterstock

  1. jaredcutts

    Stop making the assumption that kids who don’t get ass also get good grades, you asshole. I have a 2.5.

    8 years ago at 3:08 pm
  2. JeffersonSteelflex38

    If only God could’ve used this same method when he was designing my penis.

    8 years ago at 3:12 pm
  3. Kramer Poon Wanger

    I really hope this professor was doing it as a lesson about how unfair socialism is…

    8 years ago at 3:14 pm
  4. SharkWeekTFM

    “Favorite beverage (milk)” almost made mine come out my nose just now!

    8 years ago at 3:30 pm
  5. DrGonzoTFM

    Not sure if that professor is a jerkoff or one of the greatest trolls of the year.

    8 years ago at 3:33 pm
    1. ToPrepOrNotToPrep

      Pretty sure it’s not where you are, but how much better you think you are than everyone else

      8 years ago at 1:13 am
  6. FraternalColonel

    On a serious note, this is actually a genius idea. Imagine how pissed the overachievers were when they found out what socialism really means for successful people. Nothing makes the case for capitalism better than exposing them to actual socialism. More profs should do this

    8 years ago at 4:51 pm
  7. YoungAndDisappointing

    The professor wasn’t a socialist, he was trying to make a point about how unfair socialism is. Dumbass.

    8 years ago at 5:39 pm