TFM Awards, Week Of October 18

shutterstock_240441667 (1)

MVP Of The Week: Irishman who waved dick around on airplane, asked for sex from stewardess

An Irishman on a flight headed for Turkey got hammered drunk, whipped out his dick, waved it in the air, and demanded sex from a stewardess while his drunken buddies cheered him on. When police detained him, a female friend offered the officer sex to let him go. Eyewitnesses on board claimed that the rest of the man’s crew consumed over 250 pints of beer. Things got so out of control, the pilots were forced to make an emergency landing in Serbia.

Douchebag Of The Week: Drunk driver who barreled car into crowd watching OSU homecoming parade

The annual homecoming parade at Oklahoma State University, one of the university’s most cherished and happy traditions, turned into a horror scene when a suspected drunk driver barreled into a crowd of spectators. Four people were killed, including a toddler, and 44 more were injured, many with severe injuries. Witnesses say they saw bodies being tossed 30 feet in the air. Fuck drunk drivers.

Most Likely To Steal Your Girl: This kid

Worst Pick-Up: This kid

Hey Ladies

Hey Ladies!

Posted by Studio P Innovations on Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Hey ladies!

Best Drake Dancing Meme: The one with Tom Brady

Drake dropped some fire dance moves in his “Hotline Bling” video. Shit that I’ve never seen before. It’s insanely effective, yet simple enough for white people to pull off. It’s just what the world needs after we ruined the “Whip ‘N Nae Nae.”

Of course, the internet was quick to meme the shit out of it. There are probably hundreds by now, but the clear standout is this one, with Tom Brady’s head shopped onto Drake’s flailing body.

“You used to call me on my cell phone…” Remember how Deflategate revealed that Brady destroyed his cell phone? Shit’s clever.

Runner-up:

Crusty Sock Award: Chantel Zales

This week, the woman most responsible for the reallocation of blood in my body was Chantel Zales, an LA-based Instagram model.

Goodnight loves! Calling it an early night tonight wake me up when it's sunday funday!

A photo posted by Chantel Zales (@chantelzales) on

Wake up in anticipation something great is going to happen today! Phone case @milkywaycases #happy #chantelzales

A photo posted by Chantel Zales (@chantelzales) on

#lazysunday

A photo posted by Chantel Zales (@chantelzales) on

Best “What Are Thooose!?” Moment: Michael Page

When Michael Page absolutely destroyed opponent Charlie Ontiveros in the octagon, he pulled a “What are thooooose!?” in reference to Ontiveros’ painted toenails.

Screen Shot 2015-10-25 at 6.53.56 PM copy

This meme – much like Ontiveros’ jaw – has been beaten to shit. But in this case, it had to be done. Painted toenails? Come on man. Glad the bottom half of his face got broken.

Best Nut Shot: Jacques Kruyswijk

Despite blasting himself in the groin, Kruyswijk went on to finish T-18 in the Sunshine Tour event, held in South Africa.

    1. LouFerrigno

      We usually save that for Steve Holt, the intern or that new limpdick CatalinaCoke

      9 years ago at 8:04 pm
      1. Fratasaurus

        CatalinaCoke is Steve Holt who is Helmet Stickers. CatalinaCoke is Helmet Stickers.

        9 years ago at 9:38 pm
  1. Not Bob Ross

    “Here’s a collage of everything popular I can find on the Internet mixed with some shit writing.”

    9 years ago at 8:40 pm
    1. Grenade_Diving_Wingman

      If you ever say something bad about Boosh again, I will personally ensure your bid gets revoked. He is entitled to phone an article in from time to time.

      9 years ago at 1:38 am
      1. Oral Hershiser

        I second this. Also, for those of us who aren’t aware of all the stupid bullshit that happens on the web on a daily basis, this is a pretty good way to find out about the more ridiculous stuff.

        9 years ago at 12:24 pm
  2. HouseofFrats

    Gotta love the proud father who tries to leave his son behind and book it at the end of the “hey ladies” video

    9 years ago at 12:18 am
  3. SmellySperrys25

    This article was 100% identical to leftover garbage caserrole our house mom makes at the end of each week.

    9 years ago at 10:00 pm