TFM’s Own Golden Tee

It didn’t take long for the TFM staff to learn that the fine people over at Golden Tee kick a lot of ass. After the publication of our column admiring this great bar room pastime, they were gracious enough to send us a Golden Tee Home Edition of our very own. Upon learning that a Golden Tee was headed our way, elation spread throughout the office like we all simultaneously received an email about Kate Upton signing off on some full frontal action. I’m talking real excitement – hollering, high-fiving, glass-clinking, work production-plummeting excitement. Only an arousal-driven happy hour practice round at the nearby watering hole would bring us down from our collective high and appease our lust for some Golden Tee. Our “round” turned into three, a loss of a few working hours, and a dip in sobriety. We had a great time though, at the expense of the company dime and company time. We just needed something to get us through these next couple weeks. Shit, it was a brutal stretch.

So here she is, residing prominently in the lobby of the TFM Headquarters. And holy shit does she look beautiful in here. You have to understand this isn’t your traditional office setting by any means. Instead of a receptionist desk, you are greeted with a pong table. We don’t have a break room, but rather a fully-stocked wet bar. And where you’d normally see a nice coffee table and sitting area, you’ll find an electronic putting surface that shoots your ball back at you. It’s a skeeball machine away from turning into a damn Chuck E. Cheese. Clearly, Golden Tee was a natural fit.

We put her in place and fired her up. Right away we were hit with the smooth, classic voice of Jim Nantz. He came through the speakers like a tall glass of iced tea on a hot July Texas afternoon. It was full on audial erotica. If we weren’t ready yet, Jim got us there. The only thing left to do was establish a Golden Tee hierarchy among the staff members, so we started a foursome at Auburn Glen. Joining me were Allen, Bacon and Bill. It wasn’t a pretty start, as only two of us even finished under par. And I think Bill even sprained his wrist teeing off on number 17. Despite a minor injury and our blatant amateur status, the competition was heated and we were hooked.

After having this thing for a couple weeks now, we have all agreed on something. Our Golden Tee Home Edition is absurdly fun and incredibly addicting, almost too much so for an environment where actual work is supposed to get done. That trackball has been spinning non-stop since she arrived. So, we owe a huge thanks to the great people at Golden Tee.

I’ve covered this before, but if your house doesn’t have a Golden Tee Home Edition yet, it’s time to consider upping your game. Break off a piece of the social budget and make it happen. Use it in between classes, for Friday night pre-gaming, set up all day tournaments, or even showcase it as a rush recruiting tool. It’s even more of a natural fit in your house than it is at TFM Headquarters, and we can’t get enough of this thing.

Contact a Golden Tee representative here, and if you mention this write up to them, they are knocking the price down from $4,000 to $3,000. Golden Tee Home Edition 2012, TFM fully endorses it.

  1. Brofalo and Company

    These are only $3 grand?! I don’t care how this is a blatant marketing scheme, the house is getting an upgrade.

    12 years ago at 2:01 pm
    1. Frat Blue Ribbon

      I wish we could freeze it and ice skate on it and in the springtime we could melt it and drink it!

      12 years ago at 9:15 pm
    1. BrahBQ

      It is understood that south of the Mason Dixon Line and above the diverse redneck jean short wearing hell hole that is the state of Florida all tea is sweet.

      12 years ago at 2:56 pm
    2. ItJustComesFratural

      This was the only problem I had with this column. We call it sweet tea here in Florida as well.

      12 years ago at 8:03 pm
    1. SkoalSeedsFuckGeeds

      Replacing ‘f’ with ‘ph’ has always been, and will continue to be, NF. Laps.

      12 years ago at 11:24 pm