That High School Dork That Was Denied By Kate Upton Landed A MUCH Hotter Prom Date Instead

*****Update with prom photos*****

Screen shot 2013-05-24 at 3.14.59 PM

Screen shot 2013-05-24 at 3.16.36 PM

Bonus video:

___

Remember this dweeb from YouTube who put the screws to Kate Upton by very publicly asking her to his high school prom?

Screen shot 2013-05-23 at 8.55.14 PM

Here is the original story we ran and here is Jake’s YouTube video if you need a refresher. I just watched it again, and it still makes me sick to my stomach. Kid needs a noogie/wedgie combo like I’ve never given before.

“Jake Davidson here in sunny Los Angeles…”

Roger Dorn here in hot-as-hell Austin, TX, and fuck you, Jake Davidson!

So, Kate, after giving Jake a soft commitment to attend prom with him, eventually said no, or actually, she “couldn’t fit it in her schedule.” Obviously, right? Anyone who ever thought there was a remote possibility of Kate toting those bosomy gifts from God through a high school dance floor was kidding themselves. Those little high school pervs would’ve been rocking little high school boners all night and the line to the men’s room would never have dipped below 75 dudes deep.

“Down goes Jake,” we snickered. “Another nerd bites the dust,” we all thought. Well, fuck that kid. Fuck Jake. Why fuck Jake? Fuck Jake because he actually is going to prom with a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. And the worst part of it is, this one is like a thousand times hotter than Kate Upton.

It’s Nina Agdal, a brunette, Danish bombshell that was named Rookie of the Year from this year’s Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.

ABC News has the coverage:

The line to the bathroom would have been down the hall if Upton was attending, but now, with this Agdal chick, they may have to order about 30 emergency port-a-johns to line up outside the venue.

[via ABC News]

Images via Instagram

***

  1. PhiPsiPhrat

    Oh. My. God. I would do things with her that I would be ashamed to do with Upton.

    12 years ago at 9:36 pm
  2. TFMBooger

    I know how to get rid of the banner for good now! Just need to figure out how to explain it….

    12 years ago at 9:39 pm
    1. I Hate Try Hards

      I just right clicked it and it said “block this ad” and the banner finally disappeared

      12 years ago at 9:42 pm
  3. Jon M Fratsman

    Oh for the love of God. This is just not even fucking fair.

    Also, I know you meant to say “Roger ‘Dale’ Dorn”. Just get it next time, slugger.

    12 years ago at 9:41 pm
    1. Dorns_Dads

      I agree Dorn, but I would rather get head from Kate Upton. Everyone knows fat chicks are the best at it, and who better than a plus sized model?

      12 years ago at 10:14 pm
    2. TrickleDown

      Kate Upton is definitely a little hefty. Perhaps that explains P Diddy’s obsession with her.

      ^^And who does, Dorn? What a shame.

      12 years ago at 7:21 am
    3. PhiPsiPhrat

      Fratsby is just butthurt from being stuck in the closet longer than R. Kelly and Tom Cruise combined.

      12 years ago at 9:25 am
    4. Great_Fratsby

      ^^^, ^^ I actually don’t have a problem with gay marriage. As long as it stays in California.

      12 years ago at 12:31 pm
    5. Virginia Gentleman

      American Made > Imported. Sometimes it can be a stretch, but a man’s got to stick to his principles.

      12 years ago at 9:23 am