That High School Dork That Was Denied By Kate Upton Landed A MUCH Hotter Prom Date Instead
Bonus video:
Remember this dweeb from YouTube who put the screws to Kate Upton by very publicly asking her to his high school prom?
Here is the original story we ran and here is Jake’s YouTube video if you need a refresher. I just watched it again, and it still makes me sick to my stomach. Kid needs a noogie/wedgie combo like I’ve never given before.
“Jake Davidson here in sunny Los Angeles…”
Roger Dorn here in hot-as-hell Austin, TX, and fuck you, Jake Davidson!
So, Kate, after giving Jake a soft commitment to attend prom with him, eventually said no, or actually, she “couldn’t fit it in her schedule.” Obviously, right? Anyone who ever thought there was a remote possibility of Kate toting those bosomy gifts from God through a high school dance floor was kidding themselves. Those little high school pervs would’ve been rocking little high school boners all night and the line to the men’s room would never have dipped below 75 dudes deep.
“Down goes Jake,” we snickered. “Another nerd bites the dust,” we all thought. Well, fuck that kid. Fuck Jake. Why fuck Jake? Fuck Jake because he actually is going to prom with a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. And the worst part of it is, this one is like a thousand times hotter than Kate Upton.
It’s Nina Agdal, a brunette, Danish bombshell that was named Rookie of the Year from this year’s Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.
ABC News has the coverage:
The line to the bathroom would have been down the hall if Upton was attending, but now, with this Agdal chick, they may have to order about 30 emergency port-a-johns to line up outside the venue.
[via ABC News]
Images via Instagram
Well fuck.
12 years ago at 9:36 pmOh. My. God. I would do things with her that I would be ashamed to do with Upton.
12 years ago at 9:36 pmi wanna touch the hieney
12 years ago at 10:26 pmwant to touch the hieney*
12 years ago at 12:06 amfuck you, let the man talk.
12 years ago at 12:50 amBeing ashamed. NF.
12 years ago at 2:23 amFuck that kid.
12 years ago at 9:37 pmthis kid pulls. bid.
12 years ago at 9:37 pmI know how to get rid of the banner for good now! Just need to figure out how to explain it….
12 years ago at 9:39 pmI just right clicked it and it said “block this ad” and the banner finally disappeared
12 years ago at 9:42 pmEh, I’d still prefer Kate.
12 years ago at 9:40 pm^ You know how I know you’re gay..
12 years ago at 9:48 pm^
12 years ago at 9:49 pm^
12 years ago at 11:36 pm^
^
We all know you would take your old boy scout leader over both
^^^ I don’t think that phrase applies here, chief
12 years ago at 1:43 amOh for the love of God. This is just not even fucking fair.
Also, I know you meant to say “Roger ‘Dale’ Dorn”. Just get it next time, slugger.
12 years ago at 9:41 pmMmmmm I gots a boner.
12 years ago at 9:42 pmWell, damn.
12 years ago at 9:42 pmI’d rather let this chick kick me in the dick over a tug from Upton.
12 years ago at 9:43 pmGo to bed Dale, you’re losing it.
12 years ago at 9:46 pm^
12 years ago at 9:50 pmI agree Dorn, but I would rather get head from Kate Upton. Everyone knows fat chicks are the best at it, and who better than a plus sized model?
12 years ago at 10:14 pm^^^^ And you also support gay marriage…
12 years ago at 12:19 am^^ and go fuck yourself.
12 years ago at 12:20 amKate Upton is definitely a little hefty. Perhaps that explains P Diddy’s obsession with her.
^^And who does, Dorn? What a shame.
12 years ago at 7:21 am^^^ Odd place for that comment.
12 years ago at 9:19 amFratsby is just butthurt from being stuck in the closet longer than R. Kelly and Tom Cruise combined.
12 years ago at 9:25 amI see the try hards have had some influence on you Dorn
12 years ago at 12:00 pm^^^, ^^ I actually don’t have a problem with gay marriage. As long as it stays in California.
12 years ago at 12:31 pmAmerican Made > Imported. Sometimes it can be a stretch, but a man’s got to stick to his principles.
12 years ago at 9:23 am