The Alcohol Vaporizer Is Here And It Completely Changes The Game

Jared Borislow10 years ago

Move over, buttchugging–there’s a new sheriff in town, and this sheriff doesn’t require your buddies drunkenly sodomizing you with a piece of spit-lubed, plastic tubing. It’s called the Vaportini, and it’s everything you’ve ever hoped for (minus the lack of sodomization, in my case).

The Vaportini is a sleek and elegant new device that heats up high proof alcohol to a temperature that separates the alcohol from the water, allowing you to inhale the alcohol vapor and receive a similar effect to drinking normally, but in a much shorter period of time.

All you have to do is put 1 ounce of your favorite high proof alcohol into your Vaportini and let the contraption take care of the rest. Here’s how it all works.

Who wouldn’t want to try this thing? Immediate drunkenness sounds amazing. I hate the taste of alcohol; like I’ve said before, it’s pointless to buy me a shot, because all I’m going to do with it is thank you for it and then throw it over my shoulder into a strategically placed ficus plant. If I could bypass actually ingesting alcohol, I’d go out way more than once every three months.

The obvious concern here, which Vaportini acknowledges, is the chance for overdose. If you inhale too much, not only will it hit you right away, but you’ll have nothing to puke up. The company urges users to inhale responsibly. Good luck with that one, Vaportini.

The Vaportini’s functionality is cool and all, and I’ll definitely give it a try, but I’m mostly excited for its release because it means I can finally purchase my favorite Dank Swag Apparel shirt and not be promoting something I don’t do.

This dank vape. It’s a TFM.

[via Vaportini]

Image via Youtube