The Alcohol Vaporizer Is Here And It Completely Changes The Game

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Move over, buttchugging–there’s a new sheriff in town, and this sheriff doesn’t require your buddies drunkenly sodomizing you with a piece of spit-lubed, plastic tubing. It’s called the Vaportini, and it’s everything you’ve ever hoped for (minus the lack of sodomization, in my case).

The Vaportini is a sleek and elegant new device that heats up high proof alcohol to a temperature that separates the alcohol from the water, allowing you to inhale the alcohol vapor and receive a similar effect to drinking normally, but in a much shorter period of time.

All you have to do is put 1 ounce of your favorite high proof alcohol into your Vaportini and let the contraption take care of the rest. Here’s how it all works.

Who wouldn’t want to try this thing? Immediate drunkenness sounds amazing. I hate the taste of alcohol; like I’ve said before, it’s pointless to buy me a shot, because all I’m going to do with it is thank you for it and then throw it over my shoulder into a strategically placed ficus plant. If I could bypass actually ingesting alcohol, I’d go out way more than once every three months.

The obvious concern here, which Vaportini acknowledges, is the chance for overdose. If you inhale too much, not only will it hit you right away, but you’ll have nothing to puke up. The company urges users to inhale responsibly. Good luck with that one, Vaportini.

The Vaportini’s functionality is cool and all, and I’ll definitely give it a try, but I’m mostly excited for its release because it means I can finally purchase my favorite Dank Swag Apparel shirt and not be promoting something I don’t do.

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This dank vape. It’s a TFM.

[via Vaportini]

Image via Youtube

    1. FutureInFratting

      5-7 minutes for a single shot? Don’t need I’ll stick to shot glasses and bottle pulls.

      10 years ago at 10:13 pm
  1. Deltahigh

    It’s been available for a couple years now…now I know why they call you the decry guy

    10 years ago at 2:55 pm
  2. Phi Phi TopSlider

    I’ve had mine for two years. It sucks, doesn’t work. There are better methods to vaporize alcohol than this. Don’t waste the 70 bucks. From one frat guy to many.

    10 years ago at 3:02 pm
      1. KillinItInAZ

        It really works and is much cheaper. Made pledges get me all the supplies. Takes no time to get drunk!!!

        10 years ago at 8:50 pm
  3. RichLaxBro

    Room temperature Knob Creek, Makers, Rumple Minze, and Fireball work best. Gives you a slight buzz for 5-10mins… Ripping 3 Vaportini Everclears in under a min will cause your legs to buckle if you try to stand. Good stuff, but too much work.

    10 years ago at 3:12 pm
  4. MidWest Pledgeducator

    Nothings says I’m getting blacked tonight like walking around with a vaportini

    10 years ago at 3:15 pm
  5. JudgeFraterson

    Cool concept and I am aware it’s for alcohol but that first pic makes me think, “Nah, I’m good. I saw Traffic.”

    10 years ago at 4:12 pm