The “Dick Switch” Is The Horrifying Future Of Male Contraception
I came across a video that is the visual equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. Brace yourselves.
Women around the world are pissed off that they have to take birth control or get one of those plastic rings stuffed inside their gut lockers to prevent a fuck trophy (infant human), while all a man has to do is wipe off her back with a pair of boxers. Now, there’s a terrifying brave new world for the future of male contraception, which was undoubtedly thought up by female scientists who are salty about the double standard.
Meet the “Dick Switch.” It’s a small light switch grafted to the inside of your scrote that allows you to start and stop the flow of sperm with a simple flick. Straight nightmare fuel.
This Implant Could Revolutionize Contraception By Stopping The…
This "dick switch" can turn your sperm off and on
Posted by NowThis on Thursday, January 7, 2016
So it wasn’t created by a woman after all. It was some sick German dude who used to make a living as a carpenter. Hope doc makes one extra-strength — my chilito blasts like a geyser.
Really thought we would’ve evolved past switches at this point, too. Give me a good ol’ clapper any day.
I guess the downside would be counting your thrusts so you nut on an even number and don’t get her pregnant.
I’m all about an invention that would allow me to nut in a girl without the risk of sprouting a fetus. But not like this. God in heaven, not like this..
Image via Giphy
what’s the point of sex if you can’t nut on her stomach
10 years ago at 7:28 pmYou pull out? NF
10 years ago at 8:35 pmThe last time anyone trusted a German the holocaust happened
10 years ago at 7:36 pmThat’s dumb. You’re dumb
10 years ago at 9:43 pmI actually agree with Jake here, and I’m a Jew. German chemicals and technology make up a significant portion of our modern amenities. Do we hold ourselves responsible for slavery? (“The SJWs do.” OK, but fuckwits aside, the answer is no.) So we should now hold modern Germans responsible for their ancestors’ actions either.
10 years ago at 11:50 am*should not
10 years ago at 11:51 amBack in my day doing a dick switch with a girl involved less surgeries and more bros.
10 years ago at 8:31 pmThis is going to keep my socks a lot softer
10 years ago at 8:35 pmHold on babe I forgot to turn on my dick
10 years ago at 10:06 pmTry explaining that to airport officials.
10 years ago at 11:48 pmWhy would males need contraception? We can’t get pregnant. What’s next? Equal pay for the same job?
10 years ago at 6:43 amUsually, the curbstomp is overkill. However, this German carpenter has probably earned such a fate.
10 years ago at 8:39 amThis is only for a rich feminist’s husband. Normal people use birth control, Plan B, or pulling out.
10 years ago at 10:27 amThere seems to be a lot of misunderstanding in this comment thread. This would only (theoretically) stop sperm from being part of your load. You’d still fire semen. It’s similar to how a vasectomy works.
10 years ago at 12:04 pmOf course, what this idiot German carpenter fails to account for is residual sperm hanging out in the various tubes that lead from your balls to her mouth. When men get vasectomies, they’re advised to wait two months before having unprotected sex, and to make sure their sperm count is zero beforehand (by a clinical test) as well. This switch would be absolutely fucking worthless.