The Founding Fathers Make Us Look Like Pussies, Drank Three Times More
It is our God-given, American right to drink, and drink heavily. We are men, and we drink to excess. It’s a trait that we’ve picked up from our fathers and their fathers.
However, we may be letting our ancestors down. It seems that we have progressively dropped the amount that we are consuming over the generations.
From The Atlantic:
“Right after the Constitution is ratified, you could see the alcoholic consumption starting to go up,” said Bustard. Over the next four decades, Americans kept drinking steadily more, hitting a peak of 7.1 gallons of pure alcohol per person per year in 1830. By comparison, in 2013, Americans older than 14 each drank an average of 2.34 gallons of pure alcohol—an estimate which measures how much ethanol people consumed, regardless of how strong or weak their drinks were. Although some colonial-era beers might have been even weaker than today’s light beers, people drank a lot more of them.
Shit, well that’s a little slap to reality. This isn’t even a LeBron versus Jordan, or Bonds versus Aaron debate. They flat out are destroying us in the ability to throw back more than a few. Instead of downing an 18-pack, they were taking down 54. What would our average look like if we didn’t have Wade Boggs? I don’t even want to think about it.
We need to step up our game, fellas. What better time to start than America’s birthday week? Do it for America; it’s what the founding fathers would want..
[via The Atlantic]
God bless
10 years ago at 10:32 amThat’s probably true because they didn’t have water sanitation systems back then so choosing beer over water was a life or death choice.
10 years ago at 10:40 amDysentery or a slight buzz? I believe the choice is obvious.
10 years ago at 12:13 pmUnless the beer was 3 times weaker back then, that’s still pretty impressive.
10 years ago at 10:43 amWhat he’s saying there is that it’s irrelevant how weak their beer was. They’re somehow measuring how much ethanol a person consumed in a year. So when they say they drank three times more, that would mean if their beer was half as strong, they had 6 beers to our 1. Literally 3 times as drunk as the average American today.
10 years ago at 11:48 amThat first part doesn’t make any sense, Bluto.
10 years ago at 1:27 pmPretty soon liberals will be offended by alcohol
10 years ago at 10:44 amWas the Progressives that passed the 20th Amendment.
10 years ago at 12:15 pmBastards. Changing the dates of the President’s term! How dare they!
10 years ago at 2:27 pmEhhh I’ll rather have my added 40 year life span instead.
10 years ago at 10:44 amConsidering that the infant and child mortality rate was much higher in the late 18th century, that’s naturally going to skew low.
10 years ago at 10:58 amThey drank more and also loved this country more than its current leader
10 years ago at 10:48 amWe are the spoiled great grandchildren of the founding fathers and our crazy cousins, the liberals, keep trying to sell us meth in the basement during family parties and then there’s that one guy, who nobody really knows, running around with his pants on his head.
10 years ago at 11:21 pmNeat
10 years ago at 12:27 amPromoting alcoholism. TFM.
10 years ago at 10:49 amI feel like I’m doing a lot more than the average American. If I hit it any harder my liver is going to walk the fuck out on me.
10 years ago at 10:54 amAs the NAVY SEALS often say… The human body is capable of overcoming much more than the human mind thinks it can. Keep pushing yourself. Do it for America.
10 years ago at 11:26 pmI think a lot more people than just Navy Seals have said that..
10 years ago at 10:53 amWhy the fuck is this NSFW?
10 years ago at 11:00 amNot Safe For Work
10 years ago at 12:34 pmIs that what that stands for? Boy, thank God someone cleared that up.
10 years ago at 6:31 amIs this any surprise considering our founders were some badass dudes who ever walked the face of the earth. They’d be fucking ashamed if they could see what this nation is coming to.
10 years ago at 11:28 am