The Internet Obliterated Us For Posting A “Shark Shotgun” Video

Hello, fine people of the internet. We have recently come under fire due to a polarizing video we posted on Instagram and Twitter, and I want to talk about it. Start a dialogue.

One guy, who quote tweeted our post while ripping the main guy in the video and suggesting that he kill himself, pulled in over 82,000 re-tweets. Tomi Lahren even chimed in, saying the video made her sick. Multiple news outlets picked it up, too. Here’s one. Here’s another. And another.

Just three days ago, we posted a video of a guy presumably on spring break, shotgunning a beer by using a shark’s teeth to puncture a hole, or multiple holes, in the side of it before bringing it up to his mouth and spilling much of his Michelob Ultra on the beach. The video is below.

Read through the replies to this tweet. It’s real ugly. People are claiming animal cruelty, white privilege, and everything in between.

This guy here thinks the guy should kill himself. Many others seem to agree.

It makes Tomi Lahren, the polarizing ultra conservative with aggressive takes, sick.

Are sharks endangered? If so, what kind? This is a funny tweet, though. Brad is a great douchey white guy name.

What an unbelievably obvious fact this is.

I’m guessing it didn’t. That shark looks dead.

The race card has been played, then played again many, many times after this one.

I think I’m supposed to have a take at some point, or defend our decision to green light the video, so here it goes. I can admit that it’s in relative poor taste, but it’s not so bad that it deserves all this attention, or even close to it. This is just the next thing that the angry internet mob is seeking their teeth into. Dead animal + spring break + Brad = a perfect outrage formula.

The shark is very likely dead when this video is filmed. Whether or not you believe in catching and killing sharks for sport is going to have to be a debate for another day, because it’s not relevant to this video. The outrage is over the slamming of a beer into the shark’s teeth. Did using the shark’s teeth to puncture a beer upset the shark? I don’t believe so, because it was dead. Is it disrespectful? Yeah, maybe a little.

If I was dead and someone hollowed out my skull to use it as a bong and uploaded a video of it, would I be upset about it? Probably not. Because I’d be dead, thus blissfully unaware what was happening. It’s disrespectful as fuck, I get it, but also I’m a human being with human being rights and human being friends and family members who will have to deal with all that. It still wouldn’t bother me, though, on account of being in the afterlife already.

We also have zero context here, so any accusations made against Brad are based on this six-second clip alone. Did Brad catch the shark? Did Brad find a dead shark on the beach with a fishing line coming from its mouth? Did Brad and his boys Connor and Dustin wrangle the shark in the surf and drag it up on shore? I don’t know, man. And neither do you. The guys are in swim trucks and drinking Mich Ultra on the beach. They don’t exactly look like shark killers who just wrapped up a deep sea fishing excursion.

A couple final notes here: 1) I love sharks. Anyone who knows me knows that about me. They’re badass apex predators and I am very on board with them. And 2) I’m not Brad. I just shared Brad’s video.

  1. DornFromMajorLeague

    You’d have thought that this shark was a close personal friend of all of them. Like they were all chums

    7 years ago at 3:02 pm
    1. mosthonorableactive

      I bet if everyone pretending to actually care about this (clearly dead) shark donated a few bucks and a few hours a year to some reputable organization dedicated to promoting sustainable fishing or some shit, they could save thousands more sharks than their tweets will. Don’t the Chinese still cut off their fins and throw them back into the ocean?

      But between making a real effort and a strongly worded tweet that lets all their friends know how virtuous they are, it’s gonna be the latter every time

      7 years ago at 7:46 pm
  2. TossMeABronson

    Hailey and at least 60,000 other idiots must have missed the day in 6th grade General Science when taxonomy and classification was covered. “Sharks” are not a species. Furthermore, most species of shark are not endangered or even vulnerable.
    Yes, I’ll agree Michelob Ultra is generally consumed by those who sit while peeing and I would happily join in any bereavement of any man drinking it. But if that dumbass thinks sharks are helpless I’d consider it a privilege to push him overboard near a herd. Even on a beach they are still quite dangerous.

    7 years ago at 3:05 pm
  3. FratrickDempsey

    Routinely telling people who do things you don’t like to “kill themselves” over social media/the Internet. TotalSJWmove

    7 years ago at 3:52 pm
  4. baebaramarie

    I’d need to see his face to confirm, but this guy could get it so if anyone knows Brad hook a girl up

    7 years ago at 4:09 pm
    1. 1_Rugey_Jentelman

      Too many virgins lapping this. Let’s get Brad laid. Dorno, you have email addresses for both, get to it!

      7 years ago at 7:34 pm
  5. CanadianB4C0N

    Yes. Shark is an endangered species. One, single species. And that one species, just shark, is endangered.

    7 years ago at 7:44 pm
  6. WeThePeopleAreDrunk

    I hope you aren’t surprised by the reactions, like this was the easiest thing to see coming ever.

    7 years ago at 8:17 pm