The Knicks Are The Worst Franchise In Sports
Being a Knicks fan is the worst curse in all of sports. Yes, I realize the Browns title drought makes ours look like a thirty second preview before Titanic, but this is fucking New York. What I mean by that is simple: who the fuck wants to live in Cleveland? It’s like Lions fans who bitch about that godforsaken franchise; sure, you don’t win anything, but frankly, you’re lucky any professional athlete not mandated by the rules of the NFL Draft chooses to call your shantytown home. Sorry.
New York is the greatest city on Earth. It has everything on the world’s biggest stage. Yet, for basically our entire lifetimes, there has been a Chernobyl-esque cloud of radiation eroding the athletic ability of players and the cognitive functions of executives.
Phil Jackson, probably the greatest basketball coach in the history of the game, is now the latest victim of the big apple. Though, in fairness, I liked the Rose trade, as losing a Sideshow Bob doppelgänger and a low-ceilinged guard for a former MVP was a low-risk, high reward move, the Knicks are still looking as hopeless as ever.
Currently, the roster is comprised of perhaps the most selfish players in the NBA. Carmelo, though he possesses the skill to be a sort of “LeBron-lite,” an elite playmaker and facilitator running the offense from a point forward type position, he has instead entrenched himself as a volume shooting offensive clog, demanding an exceptionally high usage rate compared to assists.
Before the trade, this was sort of okay. When your second option is a teenage rookie and your best pure shooter is Arron Afflalo, a guy can get away with stagnating the literally “offensive” offense. However, now you have Rose, who, if he doesn’t tear an ACL driving to the stadium (maybe just get a driver, Derrick) holds the ball captive like it’s the Lindberg baby.
Aside from the two-headed ball hogging monster on the perimeter, Porzingis, though by far the best move Jackson has made since taking the reigns in New York, is another “shoot first” player, displaying, even as a rookie, a preference for forced (and repeated) shots to trusting his (admittedly horrible) teammates.
Amazingly, this team doesn’t even have 76ers style “let’s tank” hopes, as repeated trades netting nothing of consequence have hamstrung the Knicks for years to come, and the supposedly still open “window” for Melo and now the perpetually-wounded Rose are trending towards closed.
Now, Jackson will probably sign Dwight Howard or Joakim Noah to give the team some semblance of a front line, if they can be convinced to take a totally undeserved max deal spanning their early and mid 30s, but does anyone really think a core of Melo, Noah, and Rose, all of whom are undeniably on the downsides of their careers, can even put a momentary scare into LeBron and the Cavs? Shit, I like the Pistons roster better than that.
The Knicks’ stretch of ineptitude has not yet reached an epic duration, so take this as a warning: if you are not a die-hard fan, get out now. The Jackson era, though it may spawn a couple playoff berths, will never net a championship. This team has no legitimate path in the next 10 years (and no, Durant isn’t coming to NYC, and even if he did, they wouldn’t win anything because he has the killer instinct of a dandelion) to the Eastern Conference Finals, let alone a championship.
At least someone born into this misery such as myself will have the comical relief of watching a guardless 2016/2017 Knicks attempt to become the first team ever to sport three 20+ shot per game starters and a negative turnover:assist ratio.
Move over Browns fans, enjoy your Cavaliers as we drive the bus towards perpetual sports fandom hell..
Image via YouTube
I could easily see them going the same route the Brooklyn Nets did a few years back when they sold the farm for a bunch of aging, injury prone veterans in a futile attempt to keep up with the Heat. They are, and will be a pile of hot garbage for the foreseeable future. The Knicks are following suit.
9 years ago at 9:05 amHey, it could be worse. Trust me, I’m a Nets fan.
9 years ago at 9:08 amBeing a mets, jets, knicks, and notre dame fan is worse than any torcher the nazis handed out at auschwitz
9 years ago at 9:08 amFirst of all, nice spelling of “torture.” But most importantly, there are some things that aren’t worth joking about, and comparing sports to the worst genocide in history (and if you google some of the torture you’re talking about you’ll understand) to sports teams is not only NF, but fucked up.
9 years ago at 9:14 amAnd from Bob Barker of all people. I would have expected better.
9 years ago at 9:19 amAt first I thought he was using a weird nickname for a flamethrower or something involving fire.
9 years ago at 9:34 amI will take the fall on the spelling, but obviously it’s hyperbole, and considering all the fucked up shit in the comment section of this site, the Holocaust is a weird place to draw the line
9 years ago at 10:30 amSo are you a Cavs fan or a Knicks fan?
9 years ago at 9:17 amKnicks, but a definite LeBron fan. Evident by my clear bias towards him. Though after the 3-1 comeback and his performance it might not be that “biased” to say he’s the best ever, now.
9 years ago at 9:23 amDJ Mbenga is going to get Melo a ring!
9 years ago at 10:10 amJordan has twice as many rings and never let an opponent win 3 games in a finals.
9 years ago at 10:23 amJordan’s father also raised him. LeBrons doing it all without a father figure
9 years ago at 10:56 amLebrons also never lost in the first round of the playoffs which Jordan did three times. Including get swept 3-0 in two of those first round matchups.
9 years ago at 11:01 amJordan also stuck with a shitty Bulls team his first couple years with them instead of leaving to go chase a ring. Jordan knew he could get a ring with the Bulls because he is the greatest and he knew it.
9 years ago at 12:14 pmYea and just as many finals appearances in two decades as LeBron has the last 6 seasons
9 years ago at 1:48 pmLeBron also basically doesn’t lose if he has a guy score 16+ppg. When his All-star teammates shit the bed against other teams loaded with All-stars, he can lose. Surprise. Let’s not pretend Jordan didn’t have help
9 years ago at 2:09 pmSince when does 2nd place matter? Yes, Jordan had help but there’s also no doubt in my mind if Jordan had the same Heat team Lebron had he would’ve gone 4-0 instead of 2-2…
9 years ago at 8:02 pmStrictlyBucketsSports.com
9 years ago at 9:33 amWhats worse, the Knicks or D.Rose’s knees?
9 years ago at 9:34 amSome NBA players’ style of play just isn’t conducive to winning championships, and Melo is definitely one of them. It’s no accident that the furthest he’s ever gotten in 14 years has been the Conference Semifinals. I’ll believe in this team again once he’s gone
9 years ago at 9:38 amOn point article, but as a Knicks fan I have cautious optimism for the future. The D-Rose trade was definitely a great no risk high reward move that could be big in next years free agency. If Phil Jackson can get a few good players cheap this off season, we can still have the cap space next year if Rose doesn’t work out in a free agency that will have more PGs.
9 years ago at 9:46 amYou’d think eventually the city, MSG, Jackson, and the “I brought the Knicks back” moniker would entice a major free agent soon, but so far it’s been a total mess.
9 years ago at 10:23 amI believe the Knicks have their pick this year, which is unusual since they’ve traded away so many. Long-term they should tank to get a better pick alongside Porzingis. If Rose is so bad they tank, he’s a very expensive rental, and probably not worth dealing Lopez’s very reasonable contract plus Jerian Grant, who is at least kind of interesting. If he’s so good they make the playoffs, then he’s expensive to keep, and any long-term deal with him is a huge risk due to his injury history. It’s not as painless a trade as it seems
9 years ago at 11:52 amWhile I liked Grant’s potential, getting rid of Lopez and Calderon were good moves by the Knicks. While lopez’s contract was very reasonable under the new salary cap next year, I don’t see them being title contenders in the long term with him. While this year may be a rental for d rose, unless he plays like 2011 the worse case scenario is he walks away. We may even get him cheaper next free agency if he plays better (I doubt he gets resigned anywhere for 20 mill unless he has an MVP season.) On top of that there are lots of centers in this free agency class so if we sign one of them cheap (10-15 mill under the new cap) we can be very well off in the future. Here’s to hoping Phil doesn’t overpay anyone.
9 years ago at 12:15 pmIs being an NBA fan a true TFM? Honest question…
9 years ago at 10:02 amPro ball takes way too much criticism. College is undoubtedly superior, but if seeing 7 foot behemoths destroy the rim doesn’t get someone stoked they’re a Minkus.
9 years ago at 11:31 amCollege ball isn’t superior. It might have more parity, but they don’t play better basketball. Worse athletes with worse decision making. And one-and-done is exciting, but that means better teams don’t always win
9 years ago at 2:11 pmKnew you would find a way to tie Lebron into this, Siblings of ESPN
9 years ago at 10:39 am