The Pros And Cons Of Fraternity Exec Positions

Scott Rodgers11 years ago

President

Pro: You call all the shots.
Con: You’re going to need a ton of them to get through it. After all, you were elected to be the professional babysitter for 75 to 200 jackasses, and are often legally liable for said jackassery.

Vice President

Pro: You are the Joe Biden of your house. You are an elite executive board member, but frankly everyone below you does your job.
Con: No one really knows what you do, Joe.

Rush Chair

Pros: You are the face of the franchise. Odds are, you are the first person those innocent little freshman meet. You have perfected the execution of spewing rush week bullshit and can snag any kid who walks through your doors. You are the one in charge of bidding the coolest kids and making sure your fraternity heads in the right direction. You have a keen ability to seek out boners and direct them straight to your rivals.
Con: You gave that one boner a bid. But another pro is that he makes a great pledge though, right?

Pledge Educator

Pro: Nationals does not exactly need to know about the pros of this position.
Con: Nationals might find out about the pros of this position.

Risk Manager

Pro: None.
Con: All.

Treasurer

Pro: You have access to the fraternity card.
Con: You have drunken access to the fraternity card.

House Manager

Pro: Spending hours trying to think of a pro to this position in order to avoid cleaning toilets, vomit, and checking chores is hard.
Con: The puke, lazy assholes, holes in the walls, new holes in the walls, and the random loot a drunk brother stumbles into the house with (which could be pro) are your responsibility.

Social Chair

Pro: You are the notorious fraternity big dick. The bigger the party you plan, the easier it is for you to talk to any girl at the party and say, “Do you like this party? Well, you’re welcome.”
Con: “We need more alcohol.” -Everyone

Secretary

Pro: You are the first to know everything.
Con: You are also the first to know everything you do not give a shit about. You also get to alert people who could care less.
Con: Seeing your name on our phones every day makes everyone hate you. Go ahead fucker, text me again. And then make sure to post it to our Facebook page. Then, please, I beg you, make sure to text me again about it.

Philanthropy

Pro: You are in charge of running one of the best things fraternities around this country do. Helping raise thousands if not hundreds of thousands for charity while in college is something not many geeds can put on their résumés.
Con: Attempting to convince brothers to go soberly to other Greek philanthropy events is hard. Good luck, champ. This uphill battle has been fought for generations and has only been won by a select few. Maybe you can be that guy.

Community Service Chair

Pro: You can find ways to get even the laziest members of your fraternity to help out the local community.
Con: You actually only get the most active members of your fraternity to help out the local community.

Academics Chair

Pro: You can say you somehow fixed even the biggest dipshit in your house’s GPA.
Con: You have to poll the brothers on what easy classes to take that even said dipshit could do well in.
Pro: Being able to say your house has the highest GPA is pretty cool.
Con: All of Greek life notices you’re no. 1 and immediately shuns you pussies for being nerds.
Con: You are also that guy who convinces brothers they are “here for school,” whatever the hell that means.

No Position

Pro: Rage on, my friend.
Con: You have to deal with ALL these people above you. So maybe get a position–or stay drunk and try not to get too many fines.