The Reality About Gun Control

Reality About Guns

If you watched the democratic town hall last night, you’d think our entire country was playing a real life version of Call of Duty in the suburban streets. Yet, unless you have somehow found yourself lost in the city of Baltimore, your odds of being affected by any sort of gun violence are pretty damn low. This simple fact, as is usually the case, does not slow the liberal erosion of personal liberty. In fact, efforts to “make gun ownership a relic of the past” are now about as entrenched in the democratic platform as abortion = “women’s health.”

What we cannot deny, however, is the shockingly high number of American deaths each year attributed to guns. Even Mexico, a nation seemingly governed by the cast members of Sicario, suffers less gun related deaths annually than the United States. Going forward something has to change, and that’s where the liberals are absolutely right. Yes, I did just say that.

Where they’re wrong, as usual, is with how to actually fix the problem. Just as having the highest corporate tax rates on earth would somehow protect manufacturing jobs (haha), making it difficult for a kid to go hunting with his dad won’t stop gun violence. In 2013, nearly 90% of gun homicides were gang related. Yet, for some reason I have never seen a Crip or a Blood in line at Dick’s Sporting Goods trying to fill out their background information paperwork. I don’t know, maybe I just go at off hours.

Perhaps not coincidentally, American police officers are paid similarly to freelance writers at TFM. An officer willing to move to Canada, the UK, France, or even Japan, can expect to not only start at a higher salary, but has a better chance of never using his or her weapon than firing it. In other words, our liberal nation spends more on social welfare programs annually than any country in the history of the world, but pays our police force, working the most dangerous “beat” outside of the continent of Africa, the least.

“But what about massacres like Aurora?” Good question. More Americans committed suicide in 2013 than Germans killed by gun violence since World War II. The United States has the worst Health Care system in the civilized world even trailing such “superpowers” as Colombia, Morocco, and Costa Rica. Amazingly, mental health care is even worse.

While legally purchased weapons used by healthy Americans to commit violent crimes are a minuscule percentage of gun related deaths, amazingly this is the target of the proposed “solution.” Instead of addressing a crime ridden, largely mentally ill nation, without proper law enforcement and a laughable health care system (Obamacare would fix it, right 2008?) we instead want to strengthen background checks, restrict legal models of firearms, extend waiting periods, and exclude CCW’s from an increasing list of locations. It’s like Amy Schumer getting fake tits. Sure it may look better, but the horrible problems remain unchanged.

Personally, I’m thankful a man enjoying his morning coffee in Seattle was carrying when a masked lunatic came in with an axe. I’m thankful for the time I spent with my grandfather as a kid, sitting in a blind at 4 a.m. learning more about life in a morning than I have in 3 years of college. I’m thankful we’re still a country founded on liberty, freedom from oppression, and personal choice. Good people carrying guns are the opposite of the problem — a system focused more on buzzwords and political gain than practical solutions is the problem.

When Hillary or Bernie comes up with a way to stop assault rifles being sold out of the trunks of cars, promote our police force fairly instead of make them scapegoats of a broken system, and actually treat helpless mentally ill Americans, maybe we can talk about making “guns a thing of the past.” My guess, though, is at that point, we won’t need to.

  1. Texas Tux and Oil

    Visited London and as one of the largest city’s in the world it amazed me that their police force does not carry firearms, I hope as we grow old as a nation like the UK we figure out the stupid shit and focus on real issues.

    9 years ago at 3:13 pm
    1. math_is_hard

      I don’t even know where to start with you. The percentage of their citizens that own guns is so much lower than ours, not to mention the lax rules on second party assault rifle sales. Those countries are apples and oranges. You are the same as the guy who says Denmark has government healthcare why can’t we? Who is upvoting this guy.

      9 years ago at 5:36 pm
  2. steveholtlikescock69

    I want to stick the barrel of the gun in the Column photo girls butt while I throat fuck her

    9 years ago at 3:20 pm
    1. CantDriveDixieDown

      I’d rather the put the gun to my head as jerk off. if I come to fast, she kills me. if I don’t come when she demands me to, she kills me.

      9 years ago at 3:24 pm
  3. sunshinebass

    wow i can’t believe a 21 year old freelance writer from a college humor website ended the gun control debate once and for all!

    9 years ago at 3:26 pm
    1. Pizza4Breakfast

      Because everyone who talks about gun control thinks they’ve just ended the debate

      9 years ago at 4:24 pm
  4. ThePhiTour

    Gun control is simple. Make the penalty for owning an illegal gun as harsh as possible, up to the death penalty where applicable. I guarantee violent gun crimes will drop when criminals realize it’s actually safer for them to not buy a black market weapon.

    9 years ago at 3:52 pm
    1. oldslappy

      Isn’t that the whole logic behind the war on drugs? I mean look where that got us. I do agree something needs to happen but we need to solve the problems not make the punishments harsher.

      9 years ago at 4:42 pm
      1. CantDriveDixieDown

        we need to elect Trump Dog Billionaire and have him lead the New Holocaust against illegals and career criminals. #MakeAmericaStraightAgain

        9 years ago at 4:45 pm
      1. ThePhiTour

        Drugs are addictive, which make that process a lot more complicated. The high addicts receive outweighs future ramifications. Drugs also (initially) only effect the user. Illegal guns have less a pull on us, mostly because they are inherently associated with causing death and harm to others, which for anyone mentally sound is not a pleasurable experience. The theoretical initiation of the death penalty for having an illegal gun is arguably the quickest, easiest, and most effective move to reducing gun violence in America.

        9 years ago at 6:11 pm
      2. CantDriveDixieDown

        way too harsh a punishment for simply owning an illegal gun. However, if Uncle Sam applied the death penalty to violent crimes involving an illegal weapon, I would support it

        9 years ago at 6:14 pm
      3. ThePhiTour

        Of course it’s too harsh, but that’s the point. I’m pretty sure if we’re statistically speaking, you’re more likely to die as a gangbanger or a drug dealer in an urban area then you would if you were actually sitting on Death Row. Regardless, the idea of the death penalty would be a sure deterrent, even if judges were very lenient after implementation.

        9 years ago at 6:23 pm
      4. CantDriveDixieDown

        You’re right. in fact we should use the threat of the death penalty to deter all crime. “this guy stole a pack of gum? fuck it string him up.”

        9 years ago at 6:34 pm
    2. Fratty_Roosevelt

      I’ve personally thought a universal background check law in exchange for repealing portions of the federal firearms act would be a good idea. That and funding for more undercover investigations on illegal sales.

      9 years ago at 7:24 pm
      1. Brofalo and Company

        Are some of seriously suggesting we bring the equivalent of Sharia law to America? Go fuck yourself proper you terrorist fucks.

        9 years ago at 9:45 pm
    3. Manoftush

      Only problem is states where they change the definition of what an illegal weapon entails. An example would be the made up term “assault weapon” in California that can be expanded upon at any time.

      9 years ago at 10:53 pm
      1. dicknipplez

        I would consider “black market weapons” any stolen firearm or illegally owned fully auto, for all intents and purposes. State laws can obviously be more inclusive.

        9 years ago at 1:55 am
  5. Siblings of Mark Wahlberg

    Why was my shoutout to SharkweekTFM replaced with “pretty damn unlikely” when edited? At least give me some decent use of language then

    9 years ago at 3:55 pm
    1. SharkWeekTFM

      I know why… (as he casts some side eye shade to the TFM “establishment”)
      But thanks, homie. It makes my day that people can use my status and influence to demonstrate their own passion.

      No matter what your stance about something, I’m all about standing up for what you think is right even if you think the best answer is somewhere in the grey area.
      In this age of political black and white it takes courage to say anything other than something demonizing about the other side let alone attempt compromise.

      While we are in the subject though: I don’t own any firearms at this time but I still give out tickets to the gunshow whenever I put on my sleeveless….actually the metaphor breaks down for me if you think about it too hard.

      9 years ago at 8:20 am
  6. Pizza4Breakfast

    I know I’ll take some laps for this, but I have a few problems. I’m wondering where you got the statistic that 90% of all gun homicides were gang related as that’s a pretty substantial claim. Most sources put it at around 50% which is obviously a huge issue, but far from the entire problem. It’s true that social programs need to be fixed, as they are completely inefficient and the fact that police are paid nothing leads not only to gun deaths, but things like “Black Lives Matter” as well (if we had better cops, they would handle situations better and not just shoot).
    Obviously mental health is a huge issue in the gun debate that is often ignored by the left, and I don’t disagree with you, but there’s a difference between liberty and the right to carry an assault weapon. The constitution allows you to bear arms, but allowing assault weapons is a little much (Ronald Reagan supported a ban https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2013/01/17/the-long-history-of-the-nra-and-the-gop/).
    However my biggest issue is not that right to bear arms outweighs the right to not get shot by your neighbour, but instead that this is another political article on TFM. Personally, I used to come for the boobs and to steal other people’s jokes but lately TFM gets me hot and bothered in the other, less fun way.

    9 years ago at 3:59 pm
    1. Siblings of Mark Wahlberg

      Just google percentage of gun deaths related to gang violence. I literally cannot find an article claiming under 80 percent from a reputable source

      9 years ago at 4:07 pm
      1. Pizza4Breakfast

        Alright, I mean regardless I agree that it’s a huge issue, and even if we don’t agree on every point you’re right for bringing up the other factors that no politician seems to do anything about. Is there any way though that you could sprinkle a bit more eye candy throughout these articles? Girls and guns are a wonderful sight

        9 years ago at 4:23 pm
    2. tithound

      Who’s to tell me what I can and can’t use to defend my family and my property with?

      9 years ago at 5:04 pm
  7. 1_Rugey_Jentelman

    Well-written, I like it, fuck the media. However, your outcry to ignore buzzwords rings hollow against your perception of mental health issues. The facts from decades of research still conclude that there is no correlation between mental health and violent behavior. This is simply another piece of bullshit from Hollywood/media that everyone believes to be real because they don’t actually understand how it works (just like finger print scan databases or lie detectors). I know, name X attack where some guy killed Y people. That guy must be fucked up. But that’s just it, “that’s fucked up” is not a mental health disorder.
    In reality, as it relates violence, those afflicted with a mental disorder are often the victims of violence – physical abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, abandoned, bullied, etc. Yes, our country needs to address the primary sources surrounding gun violence rather than clinging to buzzwords. Yes, our country needs to address mental health. But these are two separate issues. Just like Obamacare and gun violence.
    Lastly, specifically suicide as it relates to gun violence, it’s simply a means to an end. Take away guns, you take away one method for suicide, not the cause.
    Just stop listing mental health as a cause of gun violence. It’s especially disgusting considering they are more likely to be the victims.

    9 years ago at 4:19 pm
    1. Ass Buster

      While you are correct that there is no correlation between mental illness and violence per se, it is true that in the majority of recent mass killings the perpetrator has been mentally ill. In the case of Tucson, Aurora, and Sandy Hook, the killers had clearly recognizable signs of mental illness that were either ignored or underestimated by those in a position to do something to help them. Schizophrenia is the underlying cause of violence in mentally ill people when it does occur. Paranoid schizophrenia is a devastating disease that can be treated. We need a system to identify those at risk for serious mental illness and help them before they act upon their delusions.

      With regard to gun control, the writer is correct that criminals do not buy their guns at gun stores. So it is nonsense to think that more background checks will do much to stop guns from getting into the hands of gang members. I get cranky when it comes to gangs, and I personally think that any gang member who possesses or uses a gun to commit a crime should be sent to a special prison for gang members and never let out. Put all the Aryan Nation guys in one prison, the Crips and Bloods in another one, the Mexican gangs in another one, drop food and medical supplies to them once a week and let them work things out among each other. Let them do like the Mexican and Latin American prisons—run themselves and be done with them. Just like a Roach Motel, they would check in but never check out.

      Yes, I know. Politically incorrect thoughts on a Monday afternoon. I need my Tequila.

      9 years ago at 5:33 pm
      1. 1_Rugey_Jentelman

        The issue with bringing up mental illness as a cause is exactly as you’ve stated – naming specific incidents. They simply do not match up statistically to other cause, just like the father who passes on a hunting rifle to his son, as the author mentioned. And you can find specific cases there, too. However, just as the author highlighted with father-to-son and I’m stating with mental illness, they should not be the target of anti-gun legislation; they aren’t relatively significant to gang violence, etc.
        I’m not at all advocating for them to own guns or even have access. I support laws barring it. Unfortunately, there will always irresponsible gun owners with children or a mentally ill family member/friend who has access. The law can’t establish perfect control and perfect freedom – my real end point on this portion (which I think author described without saying). Anti-gun laws from this angle simply won’t be significant.
        If we want to educate others on mental illness, gun control is a damn stupid forum to mention it. Yet, this is the only time it comes up. Ever. Paranoid schizophrenia is a good, but pretty obscure example of mental illness – 0.5% to 1.0% of population – and can be treated, as you said. Again, incredibly insignificant statistically. You’re falling for the media coverage. Naming a specific incident has no relevance on statistics. You could name 10 cases. 10 for 10 makes mental illness APPEAR significant, but against the TOTAL number of cases, it’s irrelevant. Also, add in true psychopaths, we’ve pretty much exhausted the list of mental illnesses with a possibility of violent behavior. Targeting a maximum of 1% of the population to search for paranoid schizophrenia with the goal of reducing gun violence is absurd, ludicrous, plain stupid. Gun violence solutions should first focus on significant causes. Mental health should be discussed on its own; and the goal should be education and aid, not gun control.
        As for gangs, I like your idea. Fuck ’em. I have no patience for their shit either. Divide and conquer sounds perfect.

        9 years ago at 9:15 pm
  8. BelichicksEgo

    Alright just gotta say the trigger discipline in the thumbnail picture is driving me insane

    9 years ago at 4:50 pm
  9. FuckingMcNulty

    This is by far one of the most sound arguments towards solving our nation’s gun problem. It’s too bad neither the Dems or GOP will be able to come to an agreement that is even close to being as productive as what’s suggested here

    9 years ago at 4:56 pm