The severe underestimation of the amount of alcohol you consume still being dangerously excessive in your doctor's opinion. TFM.

11 years ago
  2. hall

    “So, youngin’, how much do you drink?”
    Asked the man who was my shrink.

    “Oh, not so much, just one or two,
    When I’m feeling just a little bit blue.

    “And of course there’s three or four,
    When I feel like orderin’ me a whore.

    “And let’s not forget five or six,
    To prep me for my after-whore chicks.

    “But I usually slow around six or seven,
    Because that’s when I meet my drug dealer, Kevin.

    “So I stop for an hour or so
    To do just a few lines of blow.

    “But after I finish my last line
    Doc, it’s back to eight and nine.

    “I swear, though, by then I’m in Heaven,
    So I stop for good at number eleven.

    “Like I said, not so much.
    Just a little, a touch.”

    “My God,” he said, a little bit airy,
    “I’ve got a daughter I’d like you to marry!”

    11 years ago at 7:26 pm