The Time Ken Griffey Jr. Almost Pranked A-Rod Into Donating Super Sperm

LifeOfaReilly9 years ago

Ken Griffey Jr. always looked like he was having more fun than anybody on a baseball field. Now we learn that he was having just as much fun off the field.

From Sports Illustrated:

The year before, he’d pulled a subtler prank on another teammate: Alex Rodriguez, then an 18-year-old rookie shortstop who, like Griffey, had been the top pick in the draft. Griffey enlisted Seattle’s trainer, Rick Griffin, to convince Rodriguez that the club’s stars—including [Jay] Buhner and Randy Johnson—were involved in a scheme to sell their sperm to the highest bidder, as if they were thoroughbred stallions, and that Rodriguez might himself attract an appreciable stud fee. He brought in a fake doctor. “Dude, you got great genes,” Griffey told the rookie. The callow Rodriguez was skeptical at first. Then he started to come around. “How much money do you think we could make?” he asked. Griffey, mercifully, pulled the plug before donations were to be harvested. “Everybody has rookie hazing,” he says. “That was his.”

I love a good rookie hazing story. I don’t know if I love it from a vantage point that it was done by Griffey Jr., who I would never suspect this from, or that A-Rod was on the butt end of the joke.

This makes me believe that A-Rod isn’t the brightest crayon in the box. You know, kind of like taking an illegal substance when you’re already well on your way to an all-time great career and a surefire Hall of Famer, getting caught and then inexplicably doing it all over again for a second time. What kind of idiot would do that?

This was a well-orchestrated prank. It actually sounds like something that could feasibly occur. Think about it, you’ve got all these women out there who swoon over professional athletes on the road that “unintentionally” get knocked up. Now, I don’t ever expect this to ever stop. I think it’s safe to assume they are seeking love as much as a contestant on The Bachelor. These women are obviously seeking a pay day, again, like a contestant on The Bachelor.

But, there is undoubtedly a market out there of women who would love nothing more than to purchase genetically superior sperm. If I was in the position to I would absolutely impregnate my hypothetical wife (ha!) with A-Rod’s sperm. Lord knows my kid doesn’t have a shot at the big leagues with my genes running through his veins. Buying athlete sperm could become the new version of marrying rich. You just have to be willing to wait 18 years for a return on that investment. Luckily for me, patience is a virtue of mine.

Great execution, Jr., but you’ve got to close the deal and see it to its completion. These are the type of pranks that move you from hero to legendary status.

P.S. How about the Mariners having Griffey, A-Rod, and Randy Johnson on the same team at once and not keeping that group together long enough to win a championship? That’s almost as disappointing as Griffey not letting A-Rod jack off in the clubhouse..

[via Sports Illustrated]

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