This Ranking Of The Most Patriotic States In America Is…Interesting

The World Cup may be over, but America still has an Independence Day to celebrate, which means we have one more day to unite under the Stars and Stripes before we all go back to calling each other gay, hipster, atheist, child murder advocates and fundamentalist, woman hating, child murder advocates. At least the one thing we can all agree upon is that kids should die, now if only we could decide whether it should be by guns or abortions.

But hey, screw it, let’s start arguing now, specifically over who loves America the most. That seems productive.

Movoto Real Estate collected data from all 50 states and came away with a ranking of what they believe to be the most patriotic states in the country. Here’s the map and the list:

patriotic-states

table

Sort of a weird ranking, considering most of their top 10 states tried to, this one time, you know, leave the United States forever. That isn’t to say a lot can’t change in 150 years, it’s just a bit ironic that South Carolina, the first state to secede, arguably the most enthusiastic state about secession, and the state that fired the first shots against their countrymen, is somehow the most patriotic state in the Union. Is this the largest case of Stockholm Syndrome ever recorded? Is South Carolina the Rihanna to America’s Chris Brown? You could ask those same questions about the entire southeast in general, actually.

That’s all (mostly) in jest, of course. Southerners are about as patriotic as they come here in the states, even if a lot of them own two very conflicting flags. Regardless, I love them for it.

While the south being the most patriotic might be ironic, it certainly isn’t a surprise. Neither is seeing California come in dead last at number 50. As much as the rest of the country likes to give Texas crap for considering itself its own country, there is no other state that gives less of a fuck about the rest of the USA than California, and it’s not even close, really. Texans — mostly native Texans — love to talk about how great Texas is. Californians — especially transplants to California — have full on verbal circle jerks about where they live.

The rest of the results are kind of random. Maine, for example, is second. Sure? It doesn’t seem wrong, so whatever. Also, it looks like Movoto confused Missouri, Michigan, and Mississippi and switched their rankings. Missouri is at 20, Michigan at 45, and Mississippi at 36.

Agree? Disagree? Wanna fight about it?

[via Movoto]

  1. Frate Diem

    Tennessee has a Historical Landmark ranking of 41? Who knuckle fucked these rankings?

    10 years ago at 12:22 pm
  2. White_Goodman

    I live in California, and while I hate all of the hippie libs in our state who don’t give a fuck about America (including all the immigrants from Mexico), YOU CAN’T HELP WHERE YOU WERE RAISED. Just because a lot of Californians suck dick doesn’t mean we all do. There are plenty of conservative patriots here and just because you met one douchebag one time who said he was from California doesn’t mean we all suck.

    10 years ago at 12:24 pm
  3. JohnFratYatesSommers

    They actually confused Missouri, Mississippi, and Michigan and swapped all three of the rankings. Now I’m starting to wonder if people who don’t even have a basic grasp of US geography need to be telling us how patriotic we are.

    10 years ago at 12:28 pm
  4. Mr. Eastwood

    This does not surprise me, I feel ashamed to be from Minnesota. The state is so liberal, we were the only state to vote against Reagan in 1984. Just shameful.

    10 years ago at 12:29 pm
  5. White_Goodman

    I’m from California and I’m ashamed of this data. So many hippie liberals in this state it’s sickening. You can’t help where you were born and raised, so just to clarify we’re not all douchebags. Wish I was born in the south.

    10 years ago at 12:31 pm
  6. puffdaddy

    If Massachusetts isn’t your number one, then fuck you. We threw the tea overboard, we had Sam Adams, we had all the best battles of the Revolutionary war. We named our football team “The Patriots”. Fight me.

    10 years ago at 12:31 pm
  7. LHT_KZ

    Unsurprising that the more conservative states are toward the top of this list. Fuck liberal pussies, looking at you California

    10 years ago at 12:31 pm