Top 10 Hairstyles in Sports History
13 years ago

7. Larry Bird

 

Bird is one ugly motherfucker. Let’s just get that out of the way. It’s like his face, which coincidentally looks like a bird’s face, isn’t bad enough, so he had to leave no stone unturned and set it off with his offensive hairstyle. You have to respect that. It was almost as if he was testing the limits of 1980’s Celtics groupies.

“How little self respect do you have Tiffany? Even to bang a guy with THIS hair?”

His hair actually varied quite a bit throughout his career, but all the forms shared a few characteristics. They all highlighted his out-of-control blond shag. Each hairstyle also looked like it was trying to escape his from his head in sporadic directions. That mop couldn’t be contained. To complement that, his bangs were always just a thin, feathered mess. And yes, this is largely due to the era in which he played the game. But with a mug like that, I’d do what I can to draw attention elsewhere. Shit.

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    3. Psichotic

      This is the only “first” that hasn’t made me want to rip the persons testicles off. Congrats!

      13 years ago at 9:28 am
    2. BrobHuggins

      Mel Kiper rocks the same hair as 50% of the NHL. I don’t think Dennis Rodman’s hair qualified as hair.

      13 years ago at 7:05 pm
    3. Grumpy Gus

      I remember reading in SI that, by the end of his life, Pat Tillman “considered homosexuals to be the most evolved and advanced people on earth”. Fuck Pat Tillman

      13 years ago at 3:38 pm
    4. fratmydickbitch

      ^this guy right here needs to be sent over to the middle east with a slingshot for protection, then get captured, and then beheaded.

      13 years ago at 3:50 pm
    7. Frationalguard

      Corporal Tillman, not to sound like a douche but the man died earning that rank

      13 years ago at 6:08 pm
    10. Jerry Fratdusky

      Masholder, I wish your dad would have pulled out and jizzed in your moms ass where you belong.

      13 years ago at 10:52 pm
    11. Frationalguard

      Enlisted in the national guard to pay for my school, then I go Active Duty officer after graduation through the SMP program. That being said, there’s an asston of guard units that have been deployed and the most decorated soldier in WW2 and one of the most ever, Audie Murphy, was a guardsman. Talking shit to someone thats dedicating his life to protect this country including your ass. NF

      13 years ago at 8:11 am
    12. funnymotherfucker

      Serious-fuckin’-ly, could you be any more disrespectful? Fuck you, you fucking fucks!

      13 years ago at 8:17 am
    15. grandfrat

      If you speak with dudes that was in his unit, they’d say he was a complete douche and probably got shot intentionally. I don’t have time for the “cool story bro” but I’ve heard from dudes who served with him, and they straight up hatted the guy. All he’d talk about is how B/A he is, and how much he gave up to be there. I’m sure I’ll get trolled for this, but for us who have served or are serving, talk to some SF guys and they’ll tell you straight up. But what do I know, I’m just some officer POG

      13 years ago at 11:53 pm
    17. Slam and Pull

      Fuck you Brochocinco, I’m a staff sergeant in the national guard and I’ve had the standard 2 deployments in 5 years. I also joined to pay for my school and make a fucking life for myself. I’ve had to leave wire and attend memorials for fallen comrades. Fun fact asshole, since 2001, the national guard has made up for 70% of deployed personnel. Chug bleach you fuckin’ communists. You are either a douchebag that has never served or a fucking marine or army corporal that went TDY to Vegas for a month. If you were my subordinate, I’d haze you out of your combat boots and make you mop the fucking hangar for good measure. FUCK YOU

      13 years ago at 8:48 am
  6. Fraternity Lifestyle

    I call my dick The Randy Johnson. Because it’s a Big Unit and it has long hair.

    13 years ago at 2:47 pm
  7. PhiGamma

    Eddie Murray looks like the kind of guy that sleeps with the ex-srat(now into lsd/hippy) chick

    13 years ago at 2:47 pm
  10. Johnny Lawrence

    “After leaving the ESPN studios, I imagine Barry ripping heaters and working in a couple games at the bowling alley, then picking up some strange and heading home for a violent sexual encounter.” – Almost made me respect a Canadian

    13 years ago at 2:57 pm
  11. BrotlebyTheScribner

    Melrose sucks. If you wanted to include a hockey player, try Jaromir Jagr, or Goldie Goldthorpe

    13 years ago at 3:02 pm