Total Frat Movies: American Psycho

jakewgoldman13 years ago

Even though we may be very opinionated as fraternity men, there is one thing we can certainly agree on; they don’t make things like they used to. Movies are no exception. Unfortunately, the only use for most movies these days are an excuse to get a sorostitute over for some heavy petting. You couldn’t give a shit less about the plot, as long as you close before the credits start to roll, and I really can’t blame you for that. The fluff Hollywood keeps pumping out is a joke, and quite honestly any town that can stand to see Nicholas Cage in any more movies might as well throw in the towel.

However, despite all the shit that is getting air time in the box office and hyped up for academy award nominations, there are still the classic movies we can all fall back on. Movies that not only show us how great Hollywood once was, but also show us how kick ass it is to be a fucking American. American Psycho is one of these movies.

The film follows Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale), a Vice President in mergers and acquisitions at his father’s investment banking firm with a cocaine habit and a knack for 80’s pop. If you haven’t already started relating to this character, you might want to go back to the pizza social in the commons. He has too much money to count, a condo in the Manhattan clouds, and he’s banging Reese Witherspoon, a solid trifecta of white collar perfection. But his nemesis, Paul Allen (Jared Leto), seems to always have a one up on Patrick. Whether it’s an evening reservation for the unbookable Dorsia, a business card with the perfect thickness and watermark, or the fact that he handles the better accounts, Bateman begins to unravel from self-obsessed to sadistic.

What starts out as minor disgust for the weak minded and mundane, which I’m sure we all have, he begins to spiral downward into a megalomaniacal rampage through hookers and corporate competition. With all of this playing out in the social hubs of Manhattan’s upper-crust, it makes for a great flick.

Memorable quotes that capture Bateman’s material based psychosis include:

“I’m on the verge of tears by the time we arrive at Espace, since I’m positive we won’t have a decent table. But we do, and relief washes over me in an awesome wave.“

“There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that Paul’s apartment overlooks the park… and is obviously more expensive than mine.”

“I don’t want to get you drunk, but, ah, that’s a very fine Chardonnay you’re not drinking.”

If you’re sick and tired of seeing the same talentless garbage while patiently awaiting some foreplay, I’d go ahead and throw American Psycho on for a refreshing change of pace. The combination of elitism, social-commentary, dark humor, and bloodlust makes it one of those movies you can watch over and over. I could keep going on, but I have to return some videotapes…