Total Frat Movies: American Psycho

Even though we may be very opinionated as fraternity men, there is one thing we can certainly agree on; they don’t make things like they used to. Movies are no exception. Unfortunately, the only use for most movies these days are an excuse to get a sorostitute over for some heavy petting. You couldn’t give a shit less about the plot, as long as you close before the credits start to roll, and I really can’t blame you for that. The fluff Hollywood keeps pumping out is a joke, and quite honestly any town that can stand to see Nicholas Cage in any more movies might as well throw in the towel.

However, despite all the shit that is getting air time in the box office and hyped up for academy award nominations, there are still the classic movies we can all fall back on. Movies that not only show us how great Hollywood once was, but also show us how kick ass it is to be a fucking American. American Psycho is one of these movies.

The film follows Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale), a Vice President in mergers and acquisitions at his father’s investment banking firm with a cocaine habit and a knack for 80’s pop. If you haven’t already started relating to this character, you might want to go back to the pizza social in the commons. He has too much money to count, a condo in the Manhattan clouds, and he’s banging Reese Witherspoon, a solid trifecta of white collar perfection. But his nemesis, Paul Allen (Jared Leto), seems to always have a one up on Patrick. Whether it’s an evening reservation for the unbookable Dorsia, a business card with the perfect thickness and watermark, or the fact that he handles the better accounts, Bateman begins to unravel from self-obsessed to sadistic.

What starts out as minor disgust for the weak minded and mundane, which I’m sure we all have, he begins to spiral downward into a megalomaniacal rampage through hookers and corporate competition. With all of this playing out in the social hubs of Manhattan’s upper-crust, it makes for a great flick.

Memorable quotes that capture Bateman’s material based psychosis include:

“I’m on the verge of tears by the time we arrive at Espace, since I’m positive we won’t have a decent table. But we do, and relief washes over me in an awesome wave.“

“There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that Paul’s apartment overlooks the park… and is obviously more expensive than mine.”

“I don’t want to get you drunk, but, ah, that’s a very fine Chardonnay you’re not drinking.”

If you’re sick and tired of seeing the same talentless garbage while patiently awaiting some foreplay, I’d go ahead and throw American Psycho on for a refreshing change of pace. The combination of elitism, social-commentary, dark humor, and bloodlust makes it one of those movies you can watch over and over. I could keep going on, but I have to return some videotapes…

    1. FranklinDBroosevelt

      The movie rules, to be sure, but Patrick Bateman is a bitch. He’s a whiny dork who fantasizes about fucking women he can’t get and killing people he can’t best in the workplace. He’s consistently outclassed and ignored by his peers in social settings. Definitely a NF character. But yeah, the film in general is fucking awesome.

      13 years ago at 8:35 pm
    2. Fraternatty

      Patrick Bateman: TFM
      FranklinDBroosevelt: NF

      Obviously someone’s never even read the book the movie is based on. I read it in high school and this book taught me how to dress. Also, he fucks A LOT of women in the book. But shoving a habitrail filled with broken glass and cheese into a woman’s privates and forcing a mouse through…TSerialKillerM

      13 years ago at 12:13 am
  1. BrotherOmicron

    Classic movie. This and Pornstars punishment are both the pinnacle of great american cinema

    13 years ago at 8:21 pm
  2. Alpha and Bromega

    It’s a shame that they watered it down for the silver screen. The book was insanely good.

    13 years ago at 8:26 pm
    1. The part where he kills the kid at the zoo and also the gay dude’s dog should have been in the movie, damnit!!!!

      13 years ago at 8:35 pm
    2. Success

      Literally one of the most twisted books out there. If you haven’t read it….do it.

      13 years ago at 9:47 pm
    3. BROnard Ramsey

      Yes. Also the killing of the bum in the book is so much better than the way it’s done in the movie.

      13 years ago at 11:15 pm
  3. 1st to Secede

    D.W. Griffith’s “The Birth of A Nation” is easily the frattiest movie of all time.

    13 years ago at 8:31 pm
  4. FR

    The best part is that that liberal feminist menopausal nuisance, Gloria Steinem, is actually Christian Bale’s stepmother. A truly TFTC move pulled by Bale mastering this role.

    13 years ago at 8:42 pm