UMass Lowell Hosting “Harambe Night” At Upcoming Soccer Game
Recently, UMass Amherst denounced Harambe references over “micro-aggression” concerns. While the flagship school might be selling all of their stock in Harambe, affiliate UMass Lowell is buying, and they’re buying big. Tonight, if you’re anywhere close to Lowell, Massachusetts, throw on your finest gorilla suit and celebrate “Harambe night” as UMasss Lowell soccer takes on Brown.
From NESN:
If you’re planning on watching the UMass Lowell men’s soccer team play Brown on Wednesday, we have some important news to share with you. This won’t be your ordinary college soccer game, though. Not one bit. Instead, it will be a very special night dedicated to the late Harambe. If you are one of the first 100 people at the River Hawks’ game, you’ll receive a mini Harambe, and you could win even more prizes if you wear a gorilla suit.
Normally I’d rather be doing literally anything than watching a Wednesday night footy match between UMass Lowell and Brown. Even the star striker’s parents don’t show up for games. But I guarantee that stadium is absolutely packed and rocking tonight for this game. Death Valley, The Big House, and wherever the fuck UMass Lowell plays. Electric atmosphere. Harambe puts asses in the seats, and this is going to be the hottest ticket in the Greater Boston area tonight. Brilliant gimmick from the River Hawks here.
Professors might as well cancel class today, too. With the first 100 fans getting mini Harambes, I’d be lining up in a full gorilla suit at the crack of dawn. No one will be at class; everyone’s just down at the stadium tailgating, holding Harambe candle light vigils, and waiting to get their hands on a panty-dropper mini Haram-bae.
No word yet on if costume shops throughout New England have run out of gorilla suits, but my money says they’re sold out. Whole stadium packed full of gorillas up in Lowell. It’s also like 86 and humid AF outside, so be on the lookout for headlines about drunk idiots in gorilla suits rushed to the hospital for dehydration..
[via NESN]
Image via YouTube
Looks like all 60 people attending will be getting a mini harambe
8 years ago at 9:30 amI would prefer an Intern Sydney column over any more content on this fucking ape. Enough!!
8 years ago at 9:31 amLeave the intern Sydney to me
8 years ago at 9:43 amYou can leave too, Brock
8 years ago at 9:46 amSeriously, you people Blackballed frabst faster than this douchebag.
8 years ago at 11:19 amNobody cares.
8 years ago at 9:44 amShow us your tits Harambe
8 years ago at 9:47 amLove the support for such a tragic loss
8 years ago at 9:53 amWasn’t there just an outrage thing about how harambe be is sexist and racist at umass like last week.
8 years ago at 10:02 amNot sure how that be ended up in there, you know how to make this not a problem? Give us a fucking edit button, you uncultured swines.
8 years ago at 10:05 amHonestly, haramabe had it coming
8 years ago at 10:13 amFucking yawn. Harambe articles every week, STILL. The meme is dead
8 years ago at 12:58 pmAnd just like that, soccer got more unappealing.
8 years ago at 9:12 am