Mizzou Protestors Need More Attention, Have Updated Their Insane List Of Demands
Aside from some political bickering at Missouri’s capital, the University of Missouri campus has been quiet lately. There have been no huge racial incidents, garbage human Melissa Click has kept a low profile, #ConcernedStudent1950 has…wait — crap.
On Wednesday, #ConcernedStudent1950, supposedly unhappy with how the campus is still being run, reissued demands it feels the university has not yet met. The demands are the same ones from when they were first issued back in October with more of an explanation for each one and an adorable Prezi presentation to go along with them.
Our demands have been reissued with reasoning as to why meeting them is imperative. https://t.co/wPQljx9FkP pic.twitter.com/6hzXt49kqs
— ConcernedStudent1950 (@CS_1950) February 24, 2016
I’d like to focus on the below:
Lucky for ConcernedStudent1950, I can make lists too. Here are questions that I demand #ConcernedStudent1950 answer:
– I see we’re capitalizing “Blacks” now? Is that AP style? MLA? Chicago/Turabian?
– I’m a Mexican-American male, but my skin is white, but my spirit is that of a 62-year-old Asian woman. Do I qualify?
– Can you explain “justifiable circumstances?” Say I decided to go for the Guinness World Record for consecutive weeks drunk and naked and I don’t take any of my final exams. Can I get that semester dropped?
– As we showed last week, protesting is hard work. How do you focus on grades and studying and homework when you’ve gotta be at the quad protest at 3 p.m. sharp?
– Prezi? Seriously?
– Where’s the part about Tim Wolfe announcing his white privilege? Didn’t think that’d be a good idea to bring up again?
– An increase of black faculty and staff campuswide to 10 percent by August 2016 sounds great! Should we look at their applications/resumes to see if they’re qualified or nah?
– 71 percent of the world is covered in water, yet roughly only 6 percent of the Mizzou campus is covered in water. Can I demand it be covered in at least 60 percent of water by 5:13 p.m. tomorrow?
They even want a damn statue put in place where the original protests happened.
@ClayTravis it is very real. They announced their new demands via Prezi. https://t.co/BjpWJSB46v pic.twitter.com/D0MVeD0OfY
— Kevin Reape (@KevinReape) February 24, 2016
The kids are getting out of control with these demands. What’s next?
Yes, Mizzou’s festering wound continues to fester. Personally, I’m a bigger fan of The Antlers demands (except for no. 2.):
.@Mizzou you have 72 hours before we lock ourselves in a dining hall pic.twitter.com/N2zCW4OvM3
— The Antlers (@The_Antlers) February 24, 2016
I’ll take Golden Girls over mid-Missouri strippers every single time, ya damn heathens..
Image via YouTube
I’m still waiting for #fratlivesmatter to catch on so the university police departments stop shutting down our bangers
10 years ago at 4:24 pm#PrayForBen #AllTeethMatter
10 years ago at 4:34 pmI demand the ability to piss in their mouths and call them names.
10 years ago at 4:34 pmWait, you mean getting president Tim Wolfe fired and displacing other members of the administration didn’t help meet your administrative demands? I’m shocked.
10 years ago at 4:34 pmThe real winner here is Matty Mauk, who got himself a get-out-of-hell-free card.
10 years ago at 4:35 pmWhat happens if they don’t meet their demands? Are they going to destroy the African Americans studies office and the houses of historically black fraternities like they’re in Baltimore?
10 years ago at 4:39 pmWe can only hope
10 years ago at 5:04 pmIt says they want Lloyd Gaines on the quad. I interpret that literally. They want somebody to track him down (might be difficult since he went missing in 1939), dig him up (I assume he’s dead by now), and put his mortal remains on display. Let’s get right on it!
10 years ago at 4:47 pmThey aren’t going to get dick because the money will dry up. Alumni are backing out of donation pledges and parents don’t want their kids to go to Mizzou because of this unwarranted entitlement. Liberals all want a big piece of a small pie.
Ask the treasurer of Grambling how finances are lol
10 years ago at 4:54 pmMeanwhile, Missouri’s government is talking about cutting funding to Missouri university system by 8 million dollars and yes, it has everything to do with the protests.
10 years ago at 4:54 pmonce upon a time there was a secret group of people that made sure shit like this didn’t happen
10 years ago at 4:56 pm