Watch This Zookeeper (Understandably) Scream Like A Little Girl When This Lion Lunges At Him

I wrote that headline as if, were I in this man’s place, I wouldn’t do the exact same thing. More likely, in the literal split second the lion lunges and the man screams, I would have been much worse, and done some if not all of the following:

1. Piss my pants.
2. Shit my pants.
3. Ugly cry.
4. Scream with the emotion and pitch of Drew Barrymore in the opening scene of “Scream.”
5. Beg God to let me keep my life in a way that was so pathetic he’d probably come to regret ever giving it to me in the first place.
6. Offer to blow the lion in exchange for my life.
7. Offer up my rear to the lion in exchange for my life.
8. Ugly cry some more (throughout, really).
9. Barf.
10. Have a heart attack and die.

So keeping that in mind, I probably shouldn’t laugh at this zookeeper for letting out this pitchy yelp as his jungle friend does what comes naturally to it (murder). But, also, HAHAHAHA idiot.

Yeah? It’s best to never show fear around lions? Here’s the thing about lions: lions don’t give a shit about anything you feel. They want your throat to be in their mouths and also not attached to you while it’s in their mouths.

Also, this is, almost exactly, a scene out of “Joe Dirt.”

Lions, can live with them… and that’s it. They’ll kill the shit out of you. They’re lions.

  1. Texas Tux and Oil

    You know times have changed when we don’t even demand fail Friday anymore.

    8 years ago at 3:54 pm
      1. Theta_Theta

        I DEMAND YOU POST THE ANSWERS TO MY ECONOMETRICS EXAM TFM FUCK YOU INTERN

        8 years ago at 4:21 pm
    1. couch69

      Just like The Rolling Stones, they don’t know the difference between fake and real.

      8 years ago at 4:29 pm
  2. dcp123

    If he was as manly as I am,.he would have had a visible stain in his pants within a few milliseconds of the lion bursting through the gate.

    He actually was in danger. He was close enough to that second fence that the lion’s claws might have reached them. Zookeepers have been badly mauled being too close to fences with big cats on the other side.

    8 years ago at 3:57 pm
    1. dcp123

      If it was staged, he would have had to be pretty damn close to claw range. Not something I’d do to impress tourists.

      8 years ago at 3:58 pm
      1. dcp123

        Eat me. I’m familiar with the dangers of keepers being complacent around big cats. If that was staged, he was either being a lot more careful than it looks like or he’s on his way to having first-hand knowledge.

        I recommend you try the stunt. If the lion’s in the mood, you’ll lose a body part and little boys everywhere will rejoice.

        8 years ago at 6:56 pm
  3. Niedosik

    Tell that dumb cunt of an intern to post fail friday. How do you expect me to go out on a friday night without seeing some ridiculous bullshit?

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      8 years ago at 2:19 am
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