We Are All This Horny Sloth Swimming Across The Ocean Trying To Catch A Nut
Did you know sloths could swim? I didn’t. I was under the impression all they did was hang from tree limbs and do basically nothing except move their heads around slowly and look cute af. They have those long claws that aren’t exactly conducive to transporting oneself through the water.
It turns out they can swim, though, at least when they know there’s a chance they get to fuck. The Pygmy three-toed sloth seen is this video swims his little sloth dick off. Some motivation on the other side of this inlet on the island of Escudo is some hot sloth ass.
The effort. The determination. The long quest. The excitement. The letdown. The realization that other people are out there having sex and you’re not one of them — we are all this horny sloth swimming across an ocean trying to catch a nut, including the ending when he gets curved.
Planet Earth II keeps bringing it..
Dorn has actually done the same thing in a kiddie pool
9 years ago at 11:42 amfalse
9 years ago at 11:45 amDon’t lie to your readers it’s bad journalism
9 years ago at 1:53 pmSloth just trying to get a nut.
9 years ago at 11:51 amYeah I think we picked up on that from reading the title, but thanks.
9 years ago at 1:57 pmI had no idea sloths could swim.
9 years ago at 11:56 amThis is transferable to Dorn’s morning walk from the “Dorn Ranch” (your words, not mine) to the nearest school yard.
9 years ago at 12:02 pmIf I saw this and knew what he was after I’d just let him go, even if I had missed my mid morning snack.
9 years ago at 12:46 pmDid you just say cute af, dorn?
9 years ago at 1:55 pm