Wes Welker Suspended For Popping Molly At Kentucky Derby
Remember when everyone’s favorite overachieving, short, white NFL receiver won over 50 grand at the Kentucky Derby in a fedora and shared his winnings with fans in the form of $100 handshakes? Wes Welker was on a hot streak. He was rolling.
Turns out the Molly he was on ascended Welker’s brain into a temporary, Rain Man-esque state of clarity and brain functionality. His neurons were firing at an unprecedented rate. Where Rain Man’s beautiful mind was useful on the blackjack table, Welker could pick the fuck out of some winning horses.
Unfortunately for Welker, the NFL caught wind of his Molly use after he failed a drug test, testing positive for MDMA. He has been suspended for the first four games of the season.
From The Boston Globe:
Welker, 33, tested positive for the party drug MDMA, otherwise known as Molly, according to a report from ProFootballTalk. Welker took the drug, which is made with amphetamines that are flagged by the NFL, while attending the Kentucky Derby in May and tested positive shortly thereafter.
Per the NFL Network, Welker appealed the suspension and lost. Welker’s suspension will start immediately and end well before the Broncos visit New England in Week 9.
Slugging 1,000-dollar mint juleps and popping Molly at the Derby. See this face? This is the face of a man who had an awesome time at Churchill Downs.
[via The Boston Globe]
What a guy.
10 years ago at 9:33 pmThanks for your insightful comment, chief.
10 years ago at 10:48 pmDrug tests should be used for individuals on welfare, not millionaire athletes who are simply celebrating their hard earned success.
10 years ago at 9:42 pmDrug tests on welfare recipients is a good idea in theory, however it is very pricey and wouldn’t get to the root of the problem. Most drugs clear the system in a week or less; only weed stays in for extended time. It’d be extremely difficult to randomly drug test those on welfare. Not that I want some governmental parasite spending my tax dollars on pot, but catching the hard, more dangerous drugs would be very difficult.
But I agree with the first part, as long as they’re entertaining on Sundays, let them party as much as they’d like.
10 years ago at 12:48 amDefinitely agree with you on welfare drug tests, Florida tried it and spent way more money on the tests than they did on welfare cuts. I’ve been submitted to state drug tests before and they’re an absolute joke, so many are going to work that system.
Also, I imagine the NFL wouldn’t have many role models left if the players were allowed to do whatever the fuck they want.
10 years ago at 6:30 amDrug tests are most effective in detecting marijuana because that’s how they are designed. Not much research and design would be necessary to better test for hard drugs.
10 years ago at 7:30 pmIf the molly hit him hard then he’s not going to be back by week nine
10 years ago at 9:44 pmyou’ve clearly never done molly if you think it takes half a year to recover from it
10 years ago at 10:43 pmyou’ve clearly not been keeping up at all with the nfl if you didn’t catch that concussion reference immediately
10 years ago at 2:49 amYou deserve it more than Rihanna for not understanding the concussion reference.
10 years ago at 7:39 pmI like the concussion reference, unlike the jury it appears
10 years ago at 11:56 pmThe guy is like one concussion away from being legally retarted or dead. Let the man pop his Molly! Plus you think the NFL would want an excuse for his brain damage when Wes sues them.
10 years ago at 9:45 pmSpelling isn’t your strong suit
10 years ago at 10:16 pmHe made one typo bud
10 years ago at 3:24 pmBut it was the irony of the type, pal.
10 years ago at 4:13 pmDoing hard drugs and gambling with exorbitant amounts of money at an upscale event. TFM.
10 years ago at 9:51 pmPop a molly, I’m making money
10 years ago at 9:53 pmI don’t think that’s how it goes.
10 years ago at 12:16 amAs long as he had a driver I agree with Jefferson Dav1s.
10 years ago at 10:04 pmRolling face for a two minute event. TFM.
10 years ago at 10:07 pmSaying that Molly is, “made with amphetamines” is like saying that tables are made with furniture, or that Dorn is made with pedophiles. Solid reporting Boston Globe.
10 years ago at 10:24 pmThis is going to cause the crew of sports pundits who regularly criticize Johnny Football to shit their collective diapers.
10 years ago at 10:34 pm