Wes Welker Suspended For Popping Molly At Kentucky Derby

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Remember when everyone’s favorite overachieving, short, white NFL receiver won over 50 grand at the Kentucky Derby in a fedora and shared his winnings with fans in the form of $100 handshakes? Wes Welker was on a hot streak. He was rolling.

Turns out the Molly he was on ascended Welker’s brain into a temporary, Rain Man-esque state of clarity and brain functionality. His neurons were firing at an unprecedented rate. Where Rain Man’s beautiful mind was useful on the blackjack table, Welker could pick the fuck out of some winning horses.

Unfortunately for Welker, the NFL caught wind of his Molly use after he failed a drug test, testing positive for MDMA. He has been suspended for the first four games of the season.

From The Boston Globe:

Welker, 33, tested positive for the party drug MDMA, otherwise known as Molly, according to a report from ProFootballTalk. Welker took the drug, which is made with amphetamines that are flagged by the NFL, while attending the Kentucky Derby in May and tested positive shortly thereafter.

Per the NFL Network, Welker appealed the suspension and lost. Welker’s suspension will start immediately and end well before the Broncos visit New England in Week 9.

Slugging 1,000-dollar mint juleps and popping Molly at the Derby. See this face? This is the face of a man who had an awesome time at Churchill Downs.

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[via The Boston Globe]

  1. Jefferson Dav1s

    Drug tests should be used for individuals on welfare, not millionaire athletes who are simply celebrating their hard earned success.

    10 years ago at 9:42 pm
    1. ProudPhi2042

      Drug tests on welfare recipients is a good idea in theory, however it is very pricey and wouldn’t get to the root of the problem. Most drugs clear the system in a week or less; only weed stays in for extended time. It’d be extremely difficult to randomly drug test those on welfare. Not that I want some governmental parasite spending my tax dollars on pot, but catching the hard, more dangerous drugs would be very difficult.

      But I agree with the first part, as long as they’re entertaining on Sundays, let them party as much as they’d like.

      10 years ago at 12:48 am
      1. Nat Frat Splats MTF

        Definitely agree with you on welfare drug tests, Florida tried it and spent way more money on the tests than they did on welfare cuts. I’ve been submitted to state drug tests before and they’re an absolute joke, so many are going to work that system.

        Also, I imagine the NFL wouldn’t have many role models left if the players were allowed to do whatever the fuck they want.

        10 years ago at 6:30 am
      2. TheFuckKing

        Drug tests are most effective in detecting marijuana because that’s how they are designed. Not much research and design would be necessary to better test for hard drugs.

        10 years ago at 7:30 pm
    1. Rihanna Deserved It

      you’ve clearly never done molly if you think it takes half a year to recover from it

      10 years ago at 10:43 pm
      1. Bobby Wallets

        you’ve clearly not been keeping up at all with the nfl if you didn’t catch that concussion reference immediately

        10 years ago at 2:49 am
      2. FratAndFree

        You deserve it more than Rihanna for not understanding the concussion reference.

        10 years ago at 7:39 pm
  2. Brooksanddunn

    The guy is like one concussion away from being legally retarted or dead. Let the man pop his Molly! Plus you think the NFL would want an excuse for his brain damage when Wes sues them.

    10 years ago at 9:45 pm
  3. Mark Daniels

    Doing hard drugs and gambling with exorbitant amounts of money at an upscale event. TFM.

    10 years ago at 9:51 pm
  4. FrattinSince1839

    Saying that Molly is, “made with amphetamines” is like saying that tables are made with furniture, or that Dorn is made with pedophiles. Solid reporting Boston Globe.

    10 years ago at 10:24 pm
  5. Fratmiral Nelson

    This is going to cause the crew of sports pundits who regularly criticize Johnny Football to shit their collective diapers.

    10 years ago at 10:34 pm