Wes Welker Suspended For Popping Molly At Kentucky Derby
Remember when everyone’s favorite overachieving, short, white NFL receiver won over 50 grand at the Kentucky Derby in a fedora and shared his winnings with fans in the form of $100 handshakes? Wes Welker was on a hot streak. He was rolling.
Turns out the Molly he was on ascended Welker’s brain into a temporary, Rain Man-esque state of clarity and brain functionality. His neurons were firing at an unprecedented rate. Where Rain Man’s beautiful mind was useful on the blackjack table, Welker could pick the fuck out of some winning horses.
Unfortunately for Welker, the NFL caught wind of his Molly use after he failed a drug test, testing positive for MDMA. He has been suspended for the first four games of the season.
From The Boston Globe:
Welker, 33, tested positive for the party drug MDMA, otherwise known as Molly, according to a report from ProFootballTalk. Welker took the drug, which is made with amphetamines that are flagged by the NFL, while attending the Kentucky Derby in May and tested positive shortly thereafter.
Per the NFL Network, Welker appealed the suspension and lost. Welker’s suspension will start immediately and end well before the Broncos visit New England in Week 9.
Slugging 1,000-dollar mint juleps and popping Molly at the Derby. See this face? This is the face of a man who had an awesome time at Churchill Downs.
[via The Boston Globe]
Gotta tweak my fantasy lineup…
10 years ago at 10:50 pmZing
10 years ago at 11:50 pmSo inspirational.
10 years ago at 10:56 pmWes Welker is the only man who can wear a fedora without being a complete fuck stick.
10 years ago at 11:30 pmAll I know is if the fraternity suspended me every time I rolled at a party I’d be blackballed by now.
On a side note, fuck you Roger Goodell.
10 years ago at 1:08 amTry less. Also, yea, fuck Goody boy.
10 years ago at 9:02 amWhat does Draft Kings have to say about this?
10 years ago at 5:38 amDid you know that you could make thousands of dollars in one day by betting with Draft Kings?!
10 years ago at 11:19 amAt least he has all that old spice for when he starts sweatin’
10 years ago at 6:44 amI don’t care what drug he does as long as he puts up numbers on my FFL team
10 years ago at 7:24 amI’m all for Welker doing this (because it’s awesome,) but he really fucked my fantasy team by doing it.
10 years ago at 2:45 pmOnly in the NFL. Punching Molly > Popping Molly.
10 years ago at 4:15 pm1 drug test. once a month. how many crack heads and meth whores actually keep track of the date.
10 years ago at 7:10 pm