What Your Choice Of Dip Says About You
Flavored Dip
If you’re the guy who stands at the gas station counter looking for berry, vanilla, cinnamon, peach, or apple flavors, you most likely just started dipping and can’t handle the good stuff. You’re a perennial bench warmer who’s just happy to be on the team. You are ridiculed by your friends, even behind your back, and your family may disown you should you continue down this road.
Flavored dip is essentially the wine cooler of mouth tobacco. Sure, it’ll give you a buzz, but it’ll also make you look like a bitch. Just like a major leaguer waiting to be called up to the big leagues, you’re not ready for the big show.
Red Man
Like a suicidal maniac, the Red Man chewer has one goal and one goal only: to get rowdy. You’re not the sharpest tool in the shed, but that doesn’t deter you from thinking that every idea you have is a great one. You’re the guy at the party who is the loudest and wears way too much camo. You often find yourself saying, “Yee, yee!” after sinking the last beer pong cup. You’re the one who is always going after the country girls, but you end up taking whatever the night gives you — which is usually a bag full of tacos before passing out, you disgusting bastard.
Pouches
You’re the type of guy who was born sucking on your mom’s tit and haven’t stopped since. That doesn’t make sense, and it doesn’t have to, because you’re a little titty baby. No one thought you would even survive long enough to legally buy dip. You’re a pathetic poser. Life has been so sugarcoated for you that you find it hard to do even the most menial tasks on your own. You need someone to hold your hand as you make toast for fuck’s sake. “My lip hurts,” you bitch to your friends. “These pouchies don’t hurt my gummies so much.” Shut up, you little bitch. You just shut the hell up and go back to sucking on your bottle.
Traditional Long Cut
Long cut is an American tradition, which makes you a man who cares about your roots. You like to keep things short and to the point. You don’t mess around with fruity flavors or bullshit pouches. All the American heroes have found themselves packing a lip of the long cut, whether that be Skoal, Grizz, or Copenhagen. When you pack a lipper, it’s like the ghosts of American legends are there giving you a head nod of approval. Since you’re set in your ways, you won’t be the first to take a risk. While that may keep you from taking the hottest girl to Pound Town, you still take home nice trophies that any man would be proud to have. You have upper management written all over your forehead. Things are looking up for you.
Copenhagen Southern Blend
You have been called “the life of the party” or “the man, the myth, the legend,” or “racist,” and none of those accusations is incorrect. You have respect for tradition, but have a bit of an edge to you. You probably have a slightly frightening collection of firearms. You branch out and are the adventurous type. There is never a dull moment with you. When you’re feeling extra risky, you pour some whiskey into the fresh can and pack it real tight for an extra buzz. .
I generally agree with you on flavored chew, but if I could actually find Skoal Vanilla I would buy it in a heartbeat. Haven’t seen it in years.
10 years ago at 2:57 pmIt was discontinued
10 years ago at 3:00 pmNice product placement. You better have a backyard full of CSB logs for such a claim
10 years ago at 2:58 pmIt’s all about Copenhagen Wintergreen.
10 years ago at 3:00 pmCope mint is wintergreens hot sister.
10 years ago at 3:32 pmAnd Copenhagen Original is their smoking hot mom.
10 years ago at 4:04 pmI always wondered if southern blend was flavored. Could just be a different leaf blend, but it seems really sweet
10 years ago at 4:35 pmStill haven’t found the mint.
10 years ago at 8:26 pmThey keep tantalizing us Virginians. But we all know Cope Straight LC is where it’s at.
10 years ago at 9:10 pmJust got it 2 weeks ago. I finished 8 tins in the first 4 days. I’m not proud.
9 years ago at 7:06 pmGod I’ve looked for cope mint everywhere. it’s like a myth around Tennessee
10 years ago at 9:42 amThere are two types of dippers, those who dip stokers, and those who haven’t tried it yet.
10 years ago at 3:00 pmStokers is pretty bomb. Get yourself one of those 1lb bags and you’ll be spitting brown on pledges for weeks to come.
10 years ago at 5:13 pmStokers: You enjoy a great dip at a fair price.
10 years ago at 5:43 pmStokers is a great value and fun to pass around the dugout.
10 years ago at 7:13 pmDo you not get gator lip from stokers?
10 years ago at 11:55 pmWhat is this circle jerk? A new ad Grandex is throwing at us?
10 years ago at 4:24 amI approve this message
9 years ago at 11:59 pmpussy
10 years ago at 3:01 pmThis is an impostor. It’s run by frock bitch. The real shibby is; https://twitter.com/ShibbyTFM/status/570991027265404929
10 years ago at 3:08 pmYou seem like the type of kid that would remind the teacher at the end of class that she forgot to assign that nights homework.
10 years ago at 3:25 pmFrom top comment with 25 up votes to negative votes in a 3 min span. Well played Tech Guy, you fat fuck.
10 years ago at 3:34 pmYou’re a fake Shibby account, we’re going to keep downvoting you. Get out of here you low life scum.
10 years ago at 3:36 pmChill out william
10 years ago at 4:00 pmHe’s a fake Shibby. I’m gonna keep calling him out, visit this post and you’ll see https://totalfratmove.wpengine.com/how-to-actually-get-a-girl-to-show-you-her-tits-written-by-a-girl/
Keep downvoting me frock bitch, i’m gonna keep calling you out.
10 years ago at 4:13 pmToo much blow in your system there, sport?
10 years ago at 5:40 pmAre you going to keep callin’ him out though? You haven’t made that clear yet, Willy.
10 years ago at 10:23 pmCopenhagen southern, Marlboro reds, jack Daniels, and bud light. Family traditions never die
10 years ago at 3:01 pmIt sounded better in my head. Laps taken
10 years ago at 3:18 pmSave the lungs, pack the gums.
10 years ago at 3:01 pmSave the lips, smoke some sticks
10 years ago at 4:30 pmThings the boulevard would say at his favorite club.
10 years ago at 4:35 pmDon’t be a puss, do both.
10 years ago at 6:51 pmCopenhagen Snuff, the real man’s dip.
10 years ago at 3:02 pmI like snuff but it’s too messy
10 years ago at 3:12 pmYou probably kiss prostitutes on the mouth, too.
10 years ago at 4:06 pmBeing called “racist.” TFM.
10 years ago at 3:04 pmIf y’all find the unicorn girl that steals your lip during a make out, just appreciate that skill and move on
10 years ago at 3:08 pm