Which Drugs Should Be Legal?

The American Civil Liberties Union and Civil Rights Watch have recently published a report that makes a lot of strong arguments for the decriminalization of personal drugs.
From The Guardian:
“This is first time both organizations have come together and made such a strong call for [decriminalization],” said Tess Borden, the report’s author.
The report, titled Every 25 Seconds, after the frequency of drug arrests, looks specifically at personal drug use, and not trafficking or other drug crimes. Last year, more than 1.25 million arrests were made by local law enforcement for drug use or possession alone, and about half of those were for marijuana use or possession, according to the report.
This report is sure to fuel a national dialog on drug decriminalization and legalization, but it doesn’t delve too far into the specifics of which drugs should and shouldn’t be legal. That’s where I come in, because I don’t have any “research,” “data,” or “qualifications” to cloud my judgment and obscure the bigger picture. So let’s break down some of the more popular drugs, and whether or not they should be legal. I’m ignoring marijuana, as your stoner friend Tres has already “informed” everyone who will listen about that debate.
Cocaine
Some of the common side effects of cocaine include irritated nasal cavities and dry mouth. How horrible! Other side effects include having the best time of your life, being a wolf of Wall Street, and talking a mile a minute about how great everything is. Legalize it.
Heroin
No. Hell no. Go ahead and watch Trainspotting (which is a classic), then try to explain why it should be legal. Absolutely not.
Meth
I get that meth can wreck peoples’ lives in a heartbeat, but by God Breaking Bad makes it look so cool. This is a really difficult one to determine, so for now I’ll have to say decriminalize. Maybe just don’t sell it at Walgreens.
Bath Salts
Krokodil
For those of you that don’t know, Krokodil is a derivative of morphine that is extremely potent and results in serious damage to the skin, bones, and blood vessels, among a myriad of other deadly effects. It’s going to sound crazy that I think this should be legal, but think about the nation we live in. When you walk into a hot sauce store, you’re going to go straight for the hottest one they carry. Same with the recent ghost pepper craze. This country is all about pushing it to the absolute limit, and Krokodil is widely considered to be the deadliest drug in existence. It has a place.
Ibuprofen
Get this off the shelves ASAP. Do you have a headache from drinking too much last night? Did you fall and scrape your knee? Rub some dirt on it, because painkillers are for pussies.
Hydrocodone
I know I just said painkillers are for pussies, but this one makes you feel all funny. It should be in vending machines.
There are a lot of drugs out there, so be sure to offer your thoughts in the comments..
[via The Guardian]
Legalize acid
10 years ago at 4:40 pmchloroform.
10 years ago at 4:40 pmSuck a dick
10 years ago at 5:45 pmCyanide
10 years ago at 4:49 pmwhat about sniffing my girl’s sweaty sex box
10 years ago at 4:50 pmYou fuck your dog? Weird
10 years ago at 5:05 pmHow about you “legalize” Dan’s employment contract again so we can get some goddamn IGBOTD.
10 years ago at 4:56 pmThis could have been decent, but y’all fired all the good writers
10 years ago at 4:56 pmBring back the forums. Enough is enough.
10 years ago at 5:23 pmHell, fuck the forums. Just bring back boosh, sibs, and fat tits
10 years ago at 6:35 pmSibs is gone too, what the fuck?
10 years ago at 12:23 amTo be fair, Sibs was murdered by his bookie.
10 years ago at 6:29 amGrandex execs bet on Sibs picks every week and now they have to lay off half the company.
10 years ago at 4:29 pmWatched a vice documentary on krokodil and we should just leave this in Russia
10 years ago at 4:56 pmNah, let it kill off all the morons before they can reproduce. Save this country a lot of money.
10 years ago at 5:00 pmNo more of them liberal and shit.
10 years ago at 6:41 pmIntroduce it to Florida
10 years ago at 10:45 pmThe only noticable side effect of cocaine ive ever experienced is having a great fucking time.
10 years ago at 5:03 pmwhat about when the sun starts to come up and all your friends have gonr home and you look for different ways to hang yourself? is that from the coke?
10 years ago at 5:07 pmThat problem is easily solveable by having more coke
10 years ago at 5:21 pmSounds like you’ve got an addiction my friend. just tell your friends not to go home you’ll be fine
10 years ago at 10:45 pmDuring this power vacuum we the people must take back what is ours, the forums.
10 years ago at 5:05 pmMember Boosh?
10 years ago at 5:06 pmI member
10 years ago at 7:57 pmThis whole Boosh thing is having a way too big of an effect on my life. Someone set up a GoFund me so that guy can get his alcohol and cigarettes.
10 years ago at 3:03 amI think I missed a few things in my short hiatus. What did these mouth breathers a grandex do now
10 years ago at 6:34 am