Why Girls Should Not Cut Their Hair Short
None of us grew up looking at or imagining ourselves with women rocking a solid scissor fade. Still, over the past couple of years, there has been a disturbing trend spreading across gender lines: pixie cuts. Knockouts such as Catwoman and Hermoine have famously fallen victim to the shorter hairstyle trend and Beyoncé honestly just looked like she was trying to pull off the frat swoop.
If you have any female interaction on social media, whatsoever, you may also have seen Jennifer Lawrence’s new ‘do. Though every chick on the planet begs “Can we just be best friends? Why is she perfect?” you’d only bang her if she lost ten pounds. Now, shedding some lbs. might not even do it. Lawrence didn’t go full-on pixie short, but the results are equally disastrous.
Since most girls “OMG, WANT TO BE” Jennifer Lawrence, I fear this has the potential to kick off a horrible reactionary chain of events amongst the female populace. Girls, I’m here to save you from yourself. If you’re a woman in your prime, short hair is an overwhelmingly bad idea.
If Celebrities Can’t Pull It Off, You Can’t
As SFPL noted in his brilliant social commentary on high-waisted shorts, just because a celebrity or a supermodel can pull something off, does not mean you can. You might look at Rihanna and think “That’s edgy, that’s worth aiming for,” but she also rocks the “I just got punched by my boyfriend” look, so her judgment is questionable at best.
For pixie cuts, the “But celebs are doing it!” logic doesn’t even apply. Watch Anne Hathaway in The Dark Knight Rises and compare it to her acceptance of the award for Les Mis with a haircut you’d drunkenly give a pledge. Watch Emma Watson lick her lips in one of the best .GIFs on the internet and then compare it to her Willard-style combover. Watch Beyoncé in literally anything and then compare it to her trying to pull off her best Roger Dorn flow. Normal ladies, if these fine women can’t pull it off, you don’t even stand a chance.
You Will Stand Out, But Not In A Good Way
There are certain things about girls that a guy only notices if they are spectacular or spectacularly awful. Tits, ass, legs, and a couple other things stand out regardless, but a girl’s eyes are only worth noting if they look photoshopped in real life or if they are hanging out of their sockets. The same logic applies to hair, where outside of blonde, brunette, and easy, the male population will give a collective shrug in regard to her having curled it, straightened it, pulled it up, or having done whatever else she spends an hour and a half doing before she goes out. We only notice the length when it happens to rival our own.
Maybe we take for granted your impeccable sense of style, flawless skin tone, or professionally whitened and straightened teeth, but trust me, if you dress like a moron, if you’re covered in acne, or if you’re chewing on glass, we pick it up immediately. If I even have an opinion on girl hairstyles, by default, it means that the hairstyle either has to be terrible or on Adriana Lima.
They Amplify Your Flaws To Other Girls
If there are acceptable times for a lady to have short hair, it is at the two extremes of her life. My grandma has short hair and it fits her. My 1-year-old cousin does, too, and that’s fine. The difference between them and you is that they have no one to impress. If you’re in the female sweet spot, between the ages of 18 and 28, you certainly do.
“But we don’t cut our hair for men, we cut it for ourselves!” the tired chorus cries out. This isn’t just about impressing guys, though. All of those odd insecurities you have about your looks are only highlighted with short hair. Other girls will notice them immediately as well. If you have bad teeth or some other sort of imperfection, with short hair, you’re putting it front and center. Even if you don’t have a glaring flaw, there’s one thing of which I’m sure: your face is going to look fat. Need further proof? Look at that picture of ole Jennifer Lawrence above and remember that she looked fine before.
well i would like to say something it’s no wonder society is so messed up we let media tell us what to say how to act who to pick for a mate or partner , what stuff to waste our money on so we can all fill our miserable soulless ignorant lives with cause frankly we can’t see past the fake and see the real beauty buried beneath our own selves cause we let the world tell us that we will never be perfect and this is the result a bunch of grown useless soulless people who whine and gripe over a simple haircut well guess what times are changing and so is style so get off your high horse and go look in a mirror cause maybe the real deal is you would rather harp about someone else pulling the short cut off when you have a problem with yourselves .
p.s the main part above was directed at the whiners to those who support being unique and not letting others tell you how to dress , act or be something else i applaud you all its what our new generation needs to be who they truly are and that’s themselves not some version that our world wants them to be .
11 years ago at 10:57 pmAnd yet you are telling people what to think, and say. Give it a rest loser.
11 years ago at 12:04 pmit’s not an easy feat psychologically to hack off an extreme amount of hair, regardless of gender (I have plenty of bearded guy friends with long hair). A person would most likely have a reason that goes beyond the trend for drastic change. and regardless of the reasons, it has to take a huge amount of confidence and security to go through with it. granted some women pull it off short hair better than others, but the point is, you guys have no say in what a female chooses to do with her own damn life.
To a lot of guys, this isn’t just about physical appearance. This is about retaining dominance, and the fear this “trend” is a sign of gender equality, god forbid. well you win because in our world, entitled straight white males will always get the advantage. so stop your damn complaining and stop writing stupid articles like this and educate yourselves about real social injustices and world beyond your enclosed, douchey frat and sorority houses.
and again, I’m not a female. I’m just a double-minority male working and fighting in a straight white male-driven industry of filmmaking.
11 years ago at 2:04 amOh so you’re gay I’m guessing? That explains it. Ok. The first sentence is probably true. It’s a big change and might not(hint; won’t) look even remotely good. I don’t agree at all that they need to have a good reason. What if they just think it will look better? Or be easier to manage/get ready on a Friday night? Or what if they’re artsy fartsy and want to make a stand for something? Not a life or death decision forcing them to mutilate their hair. And no matter how well someone pulls it off, it’s ugly compared to how they would look and disappointing. All the article was trying to do was let girls know we don’t like it. They can do whatever they want, just don’t expect us to like it.
And the second paragraph is exactly what I’d expect you to say after reading that last sentence. Just get the fuck off this website. It’s obviously not for you and if all you can do is complain there’s no point in you being here. It has nothing to do with equal rights. But I wouldn’t expect someone like you (a double minority filmmaker) to understand that not everything has to do with the big scary white man(who you added is straight of course) not wanting anybody equal to him. This is a perfect example. It is all about it simply being ugly. I love powerful women and respect them for their hard work. But I think “pixie cuts” are fucking ugly. And I think the people who appreciate them usually are the artsy liberal type. Who are ruining this beautiful country.
11 years ago at 5:05 pmAll I heard was “Whaaa whaa whaaaaa social injustice whaaa I like guys and you don’t accept me whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”
11 years ago at 5:30 amIs it just me or does the average woman have a piss-poor grasp on the written English language?
11 years ago at 4:11 amIt’s just you, limp dick.
11 years ago at 11:55 amNo you’re not alone Northern, they don’t have too great of a grasp on that or logic. Logic seems to be these people’s worst enemy.
11 years ago at 11:03 pmI can only imagine Greek life and frat culture to be full of cliche douche bags devoid of personal character, individuality or personality–things all sacrificed for a sense of belonging to a community of like-minded conformists for a few short years while your receding hairlines act as an hour glass.
Savor the moment because for most of you, this is the peak. It’s down hill from here. Unless of course the mundane middle class suburban life with an insecure trophy wife is your dream. It’s a matter of perspective.
Also, your site would be sponsored by a clothing store called “Rowdy Gentleman.” They would sell polo shirts and beer koozies. They totally would.
11 years ago at 10:04 amWell if we’re going to stereotype here… Your idea of greek life is far from the truth. There are all different kinds of people in fraternities and sororities. Ok, maybe not every single kind of person, but definitely a lot of different characters.
This middle paragraph is absurd. If you weren’t too busy with your stupid “filmmaking”, you might know that people from Greek organizations are very successful in their chosen fields. Look at Wall Street, political careers, etc. Students from Greek organizations often have higher GPA requirements than non-Greeks and a higher graduation rate. And sorry you’re a failed filmmaker who can only aspire to lower class. In a few years you’ll be very jealous of even the lower middle class. While most people on this website will be happier and more successful than you. You clearly are disappointed or ashamed with your life, and taking it out on people who are loving theirs. But instead of giving a shit, we’re laughing our asses off at you and provoking more and more hilarity.
And about Rowdy Gentleman, I know so many non-Greek people who love their products. The patriotic tank tops and T-shirts are more successful than anything you ever do will be. So just get off this website, it’s obviously not for you. As you made clear in a different post you were whining in, you’re a double minority and we’re all straight white male bigots. Why are you even here?
11 years ago at 5:36 pm^ Got ’em.
11 years ago at 8:50 pmI didn’t read your essay, but I’ll give you a C-
Now you can barely graduate and start your mundane, suburban life! congratulations, douche bag! you’ve barely earned your diploma!
11 years ago at 2:53 ambtw, how many drunk girls have you raped? i’m curious 😉
11 years ago at 2:55 amonly asking because that’s the only foreseeable way most of you would get laid.
either that, or you go for the really insecure ones with low standards because you, too, lack self-respect.
I am so above you, it’s not even funny.
11 years ago at 2:57 amGive it a read, you may learn something. What gives you any indication I am barely graduating? I’ll ignore that blind, baseless accusation and move on. Anyway what’s wrong with the Suburbs? Sorry I like nice things? I don’t know where is the coolest place for gays to live so I don’t really know what more you could want than a 6,000+ sq. ft. house in a safe, classy neighborhood, with a gate to keep out the riffraff.
I almost didn’t respond at all because I don’t like to give people ignorant enough to say something like your second comment a second chance. I thought you fags were supposed to be all about NOT stereotyping? Rape is such a disgusting act, that anybody who baselessly assumes that someone else is a rapist because of their opinion on something like this, is a completely morally bankrupt piece of human garbage. But you’re admittedly a homosexual, so I’m guessing also a liberal. If you’re going to blanket stereotype, bet your ass I am too. So as a liberal, it’s no surprise you want equality for all those unless they agree with your beliefs. That’s what’s happening here, in case you’re too blind to see it.
So, to answer your “question” in the second post, zero. I would never rape a woman and neither would any of my fraternity brothers. And I would bet anything on that. I still can’t believe you think it’s ok to ask that but not ok to post an article like this. Blows my mind how completely insane someone can be..
I know you’re an ass-bandit, but just because you wouldn’t have sex with someone doesn’t mean a woman wouldn’t.. You aren’t all attracted to the same men. So your opinion is again, irrelevant. And please, if we had lower standards, this article wouldn’t exist. If we had low standards, we would settle for pixie cuts. We have way too much self-respect to date a dude. That’s clearly not your issue..
To think you’re above ANYBODY, you pole smoker, rest assured that it’s purely hubris and based on nothing. Sorry to break it to you, but you aren’t above a fucking hobo. You’re a piece of garbage, as evidenced by your second post in this trifecta of stupidity here. The fact that you don’t have anything better to do than joining a website purely to complain and try to make yourself feel better about your abomination of a lifestyle. Go fuck yourself. Wait, you’d probably like that. Go fuck a porcupine.
11 years ago at 3:19 amWhy are you even reading this stuff? All I got from all your comments is that you hate greek life. Go start a GDI page, get sponsor by quidditch equipment or whatever cargo shorts brand you like and quit bitching about fraternities in a age called Total Frat Move. Seriously man
11 years ago at 8:53 amThis article is so incredibly idiotic. I have had short hair for the past 7 years and in that time have had no problem finding respectable men who appreciated the way it looked on me. This is seriously hilarious how little sense it makes and it doesn’t help to show very flattering photos of beautiful women to prove the point that they are somehow not attractive when clearly they still are.
11 years ago at 11:11 amIt’s funny when guys have to pretend to be all picky so they can justify the fact that no one wants to touch their penises.
11 years ago at 11:47 amGuys that insecure could definitely benefit from some submission training. It does wonders for self-esteem…
you could probably use a penis inside of you, settle down.
11 years ago at 4:14 pm@Jsmit261 guys dont know how to turn a woman on as well as a woman can with her own hand, maybe you need a dick inside you, cunt
11 years ago at 12:27 amIs that why you can’t get a single one of us to touch you?
11 years ago at 11:50 amno one wants to be touched by you fatty.
11 years ago at 12:27 pmah yes, hello OurHero, just wanted to let you know that your lashing out is totally understandable. it’s hard when you realize you’re a douche and you can’t get any.
11 years ago at 1:04 am^You are fat too. But seriously, that was a pretty nasty comment. I do alright in real life, I SWEAR!!!!!!!
11 years ago at 6:16 pmThe begging that you are showing for us to believe that you do alright in life is humorous to us all, “OurHero”. Or may I say… “OurDouchebag”. I’ve been trying to give you the benefit of the doubt about your opinions, but here’s the thing… After seeing many of your comments on peoples posts, I’ve come to the realization that you’re just a complete asshole. So thank you, for showing me what a true asshole people can be. I highly appreciate it.
10 years ago at 6:58 pmYou’re an idiot. You’re the reason so many women are raped and killed. You’re perpetuating the stereotype that women are objects and only things to look at, not human beings that deserve the respect that a man gets. Women don’t exist for you to look at them. They do not cut or style their hair for you. They don’t lose or gain weight for you. Women are not objects to ogle over and look at, or demean and insult. I feel sorry for the woman who birthed you, because that would be my biggest regret in life, knowing I had to give life to a man like you. You deserve to rot alone with a limp dick for the rest of your life. And I hope you do.
11 years ago at 11:54 amAmen.
11 years ago at 1:52 pm“You’re the reason so many women are raped and killed.”
11 years ago at 8:47 pm^ Thank you Jimmy. This bitch is so crazy that her post doesn’t even merit a response. Just laugh to yourself at how fucking ridiculous these dykes are and keep egging them on.
11 years ago at 10:04 pmaustinatalie, you are a disgusting piece of garbage. How can you even think like that, let alone vocalize those dark thoughts? No response is merited to such an asinine post. Just to be egged on and laughed at. Perfect reply, Jimmy. This person clearly has mental issues and should be avoided like the plague. Who wishes a “limp dick” on someone…?
11 years ago at 4:04 am“Women don’t exist for you to look at them.”
11 years ago at 12:15 pmWe’re gonna have to agree to disagree here.
11 years ago at 4:59 pmgod, men are stupid.
11 years ago at 12:06 pmI think I’ll cut my hair short. I think of it as insurance against any of you dickwads even looking at me.
11 years ago at 12:11 pmYup. Now we know how to avoid jerks.
11 years ago at 3:34 pmGo for it. You’ll attract a nice tattoo-covered or pierced loser I’m sure. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but those are usually the type of guys who settle for short-haired girls. I mean ok true, usually they’re with other short-haired girls but when they are with a guy, he’s usually a huge douche.
11 years ago at 3:53 pmThat work. By your logic, we’ll just rape you, because we are unthinking animals.
11 years ago at 6:37 pmBYU, NF.
11 years ago at 9:39 am