Wisconsin Kappa Sigma Brother Bodies Knife-Wielding Punk Attempting To Burglarize Fraternity House
A member of UW-Madison Kappa Sigma stopped the burglary of his beloved chapter house Monday night, tackling and holding down one of three teenage intruders allowing his girlfriend to disarm the suspect of the knife clipped to his belt and neutralize the juvenile delinquent until police arrived to make the arrest.
From The Badger Herald:
Madison Police arrested a 16-year-old Madison resident after he and two other suspects were stopped mid-robbery at the University of Wisconsin Kappa Sigma fraternity house on 124 Langdon St.
The teen who was arrested had a number of suspicious items on his person, most of which were found in his backpack. Police found him in possession of five knives, a lock picking set, a fake driver’s license and several items that had likely been stolen, including a debit card.
The detained teen has been arrested on tentative charges of burglary, possession of burglarious tools, carrying a concealed weapon, disorderly conduct, curfew violation and underage person carrying an ID that’s not theirs. Because he is a minor, he is being detained at the Juvenile Reception Center.
What a night for this Kappa Sig. He got to body up and throw around some underage (probably much smaller) punk, make a citizen’s arrest, and look like a complete alpha in front of his woman. Zero chance they’ve left the bedroom at all over the last two days. I can’t say I’ve had the pleasure of experiencing hero sex myself, but I have to imagine it’s right up there in the top pantheon of hookups with breakup sex and hotel room sex. Kid’s probably shooting out air as I type this after his girl sucked him clean dry for the 75th time over the last 40 hours or so. Congrats, player.
As for the perp, I’m sure this isn’t his first rodeo with the criminal justice system. No one’s a five knife guy and not done time. Five knife guy came out of the womb with a record. There was never a sliver of hope that five knife guy would be a contributing member of society. His transgressions will only escalate moving forward, and he’ll be in and out of jail for the next two decades before falling victim to his own knife at the hand of some homeless meth fiend. It’ll be as insignificant as it is poetic. Five knife guy never had a chance in this world..
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[via Badger Herald]
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Bet you play with your tits
9 years ago at 2:04 pmwow you showed him
9 years ago at 2:14 pmOn a related note, our vigilante will be playing with tits tonight.
9 years ago at 2:30 pmHe does
9 years ago at 3:08 pmI bet he gave him an ocular pat-down, assessed the situation and eliminated the threat.
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9 years ago at 5:09 amI hear Dan requested an additional private body cavity search
9 years ago at 2:29 pmSweet title; shitty story.
9 years ago at 2:30 pmThis dude is walking around like Johnny Mox after his first big game just saying things on campus like “I just thank my pledge brothers and God and I’m only one man”
9 years ago at 3:05 pmFive knife guy never had a chance in life, neither did a buffet in front of you
9 years ago at 3:08 pmWould you like to be Facebook friends?
9 years ago at 6:46 amThis brings up an interesting discussion though- Vandalism: TFM or NF?
9 years ago at 3:12 pmIt depends. Vandalism that is just an inconvenience and that everyone laugh about later is alright, but causing real monetary damage is just being an asshole.
9 years ago at 3:39 pmI bet Jared was watching you from across the office the whole time you wrote this.
9 years ago at 4:29 pmI wish he would’ve bodied your fat ass Dan
9 years ago at 11:24 pmHe was probably hoping to steal one of those cool Harambe t-shirts from Rowdy Gentleman.
9 years ago at 6:43 am