Word Around Colorado School Of Mines Is Some Freshman Got His Dick Stuck In A Shampoo Bottle

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College gives you a clean slate. No matter what your reputation was back in high school, you now have the opportunity to reinvent yourself into a completely different person if you so desire.

One freshman at the Colorado School Of Mines apparently set out to make a name for himself, and took the campus by storm his first day of the fall semester.

Now that’s how you make a splash. Kid’s been at the school for all of five minutes and he’s already got the most notorious dick in CSM history. Try to set the bar higher. You can’t.

So many unanswered questions. Was this a power play by “Bottle Boner?” Did he want to assert dominance over his roommate by sodomizing his shampoo? Was it an all-in-one hair, body, and face wash? Is this just what gets him off, or is he a Fleshlight guy that left his fuck toy at home?

Whatever the reason behind the madness, dude just needs to own it.

“Hey, aren’t you the guy that was balls deep in some Head & Shoulders?”

“Yeah, but that’s because I like to keep the hog fresh for all the honeys.”

Keep doing you, player.

h/t Chris

Image via Youtube

      1. FrayettevilleLegend

        No but he has a theme song. “Head and shoulders dicks in holes”

        5 years ago at 9:47 am
  1. Spewbacca

    If any of you have met the guys at this school, you wouldn’t be surprised this happened…

    5 years ago at 2:43 pm
    1. Oyster

      The president of our chapter there showed up to a national convention in a beanie and an “A Day to Remember” shirt. I’d believe just about any weird shit that happened at this place.

      5 years ago at 4:50 pm
  2. Schermerhorny Johnson

    I really hope he didn’t splooge in the shampoo before the ambulance arrived. That would’ve made for a sticky situation.

    5 years ago at 2:44 pm
  3. Selleck

    Kid on my floor got blackout drunk with the rest of us the first night, except he was found passed out naked in the girl’s washroom and his picture posted all over facebook. Genius turned “thats me, wanna see it again?” into his go-to icebreaker the rest of the year.

    5 years ago at 2:45 pm
  4. prex8390

    Kid goes to an engineering school and didn’t decide, maybe melt the plastic?

    5 years ago at 2:50 pm
    1. Spewbacca

      I would rather leave my dick in the bottle than risk it going anywhere near fire.

      5 years ago at 2:56 pm