Word Around Colorado School Of Mines Is Some Freshman Got His Dick Stuck In A Shampoo Bottle

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College gives you a clean slate. No matter what your reputation was back in high school, you now have the opportunity to reinvent yourself into a completely different person if you so desire.

One freshman at the Colorado School Of Mines apparently set out to make a name for himself, and took the campus by storm his first day of the fall semester.

Now that’s how you make a splash. Kid’s been at the school for all of five minutes and he’s already got the most notorious dick in CSM history. Try to set the bar higher. You can’t.

So many unanswered questions. Was this a power play by “Bottle Boner?” Did he want to assert dominance over his roommate by sodomizing his shampoo? Was it an all-in-one hair, body, and face wash? Is this just what gets him off, or is he a Fleshlight guy that left his fuck toy at home?

Whatever the reason behind the madness, dude just needs to own it.

“Hey, aren’t you the guy that was balls deep in some Head & Shoulders?”

“Yeah, but that’s because I like to keep the hog fresh for all the honeys.”

Keep doing you, player.

h/t Chris

Image via Youtube

  1. UMaverick

    Even if he tries to own this, his dick was still able to fit inside a shampoo bottle so he doesn’t have much going for him

    10 years ago at 2:55 pm
    1. TheFratCock

      Maybe it was flaccid when he inserted his dick into the bottle, and the reason it got stuck is cause he got hard inside the bottle

      10 years ago at 4:06 pm
  2. OldManStrength

    Mines just found their new nerd king, kid got more action than 90% of those dorks.

    10 years ago at 5:44 pm
  3. Cottonmouth

    A few years ago a girl at my school got stuck on a door knob. We have these “historic houses” on campus that students can live in and they have unusual 1850s door knobs. Apparently she tried to use one as a butt-plug/dildo (while it’s on the door) and couldn’t pull it out due to the ridges. Years later I went on a date with a girl who was a campus EMT at the time and she told me the fire dpt., campus EMTs, and real EMTs all showed up and didn’t know what to do because the door and knob had corroded together pre-civil war. While they are debating the legality of sawing the door apart the girl starts bleeding profusely out of her torn asshole so they give her a bunch of painkiller-shots and amyl nitrate or something to dilate her asshole and forcibly pull her off. For some reason she transferred out of state after that.

    10 years ago at 11:42 pm