You Don’t Deserve A Dog If You Wouldn’t Fist Fight A Kangaroo For It

Here we have a kangaroo strangling a dog. The dog’s owner runs up to the kangaroo, squares up like the round 1 bell just rung, and delivers a right cross that stuns the kangaroo. He then retreats.

Quick side note: Is this how kangaroos fuck up other animals in the wild? They strangle them? What kind of defense mechanism is that?

This is a classic bully/nerd scenario. Most bullies have glass jaws. They like to get physical up to the point of actually fighting, but they don’t usually want the fight to happen.

This is a bully giving some band nerd a headlock up against the lockers between classes. Then band nerd’s football playing friend approaches and squares up to him, lands the first real punch he’s ever received, the bully is stunned then walks off with his tail between his legs. Soft ass kangaroo will never come between a man and his dog again.

How about this guy’s dog getting nearly choked out by a marsupial, though? Just a crazy scene that I wouldn’t have believed if the camera wasn’t rolling. Like hitting a hole-in-one with no witnesses. Don’t even bother telling the story because no one is going to believe it. But here it is. A kangaroo trying to get a dog to tap out.

A lot of people are calling this guy a hero. I call him a normal dog owner. If you aren’t squaring up to a wild animal that’s choking out your dog, you don’t deserve that dog. Or friends. Or happiness.

  1. MalcolmSex

    Constant Adderall/caffeine/dip shits are making studying for finals much more difficult than I imagined

    8 years ago at 9:41 am
  2. The User Formerly Known as Frabst

    I’d pay good money to watch you fight a kangaroo over a small child.

    8 years ago at 9:54 am
    1. PurdueAF

      “If anybody’s gonna choke little Timmy, it’s damn well gonna be me, bitch!”

      8 years ago at 9:56 am
      1. The User Formerly Known as Frabst

        We all know Dorn can’t throw a real punch. He’s one of those limp wristed, neo-liberals living in Austin. I’d put my money on the kangaroo rocking his world.

        8 years ago at 10:39 am
      2. BobMotherFuckingBarker

        If Dorn could be any animal, he’d be a kangaroo, so he could carry small children in his pouch.

        8 years ago at 12:00 pm
      3. The User Formerly Known as Frabst

        I’d figure he’d be a lap dog so people wouldn’t think twice when he humps a child’s leg.

        8 years ago at 12:02 pm
  3. Just call me blackout

    I’d give it some roofies then fuck it, it’s just a little beastalitly.

    8 years ago at 10:41 am
  4. FrattyCoug

    I was looking forward to reading some funny “TFM” commentary on this video but instead after reading the article I am just really disappointed. But what’s new.

    8 years ago at 11:25 am
  5. ScottyA

    That kangaroo is yoked! I’d still fight him for my dog but I’d be ready for a battle.

    8 years ago at 2:11 pm