You Gotta Respect The Hustle Of This South Carolina Professor Busted For Cooking Meth

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An english professor at the University of South Carolina — whose students are probably known for turning in erratic, long-winded, and often incoherent essays — was arrested on Tuesday for breaking bad. John Allen Hancock IV and his sister were charged with “manufacturing methamphetamine” and “improper disposal of methamphetamine waste.” Improper disposal? Everyone knows crank sludge goes in the RECYCLING, John, you inconsiderate fuck.

From The Daily Gamecock:

John Allen Hancock IV and his sister, who was charged for the same offenses, turned themselves in Tuesday morning following the bust of a methamphetamine manufacturing operation in a Trenholm Road-area neighborhood earlier in the month, The State reports.

According to the USC Directory, Hancock is a member of the teaching staff for USC’s English Program for Internationals.
In addition to their shared charges, Hancock’s sister has also been charged with unlawful possession of a schedule IV controlled substance and simple possession of marijuana.

Both suspects are being held at the Alvin S. Glenn Detention Center.

Judging by some of the people that lurk around Columbia, business was probably going pretty well for the Hancocks. There are dozens of sketchy motherfuckers begging for change from students at any given time in the university bar district. Johnny and his sis saw the opportunity and they took it. Can’t knock the hustle.

[via The Daily Gamecock]

  1. The Hacksaw

    Open your eyes America, it’s time that we just legalize Medicinal Methamphetamine. John Hancock IV is a hero.

    8 years ago at 8:27 pm
  2. 1_Rugey_Jentelman

    Jesus, even in the best case scenario, you’ll end up cooking meth with an English.

    8 years ago at 9:58 pm
  3. Shut up Meg

    Off topic but FUCK NORTH KOREA. Gave that UVA kid 15 years hard labor. Is our international diplomacy this fucking weak?

    8 years ago at 11:28 pm
    1. Dan Regester-edsexoffender

      He told the authorities he stole it for a church and was being paid 10k to do so and a church member informed him that if he was caught that they would give his family 200k. Also we just imposed another round of major sanctions on the country for their latest missile launch so I don’t think they are in a compromising mood. That being said fuck north korea

      8 years ago at 5:29 am
    2. EQK

      We don’t have any diplomatic relations with the DPRK. What little we can do has to be done through the Swedish Embassy in Pyongyang. In other words, DON’T FUCKING GO TO NORTH KOREA. That being said, I’d love for SEAL Team Six to bust him out.

      8 years ago at 7:19 am
  4. Snake300

    Also respect the hustle of the prosecutor. Also charging him with improper disposal of meth waste. Like hitting an axe murderer with littering for dumping the bodies on the side of the road.

    8 years ago at 7:56 am