Girl Turns Raunchy Texts From Vandy Beta Member Into Dirtiest, Catchiest Song Of The Year

I’m always cautious not to overhype stuff like this, when every ounce of me wants to tell you that this is the most genius musical creation of a lifetime. I’ll keep it cool, though, which is the smart play because this song truly sells itself.

“There’s gonna be a party in your ass tomorrow, and my cock’s the only one that’s invited.”

That’s just one of the lines from the song that is allegedly a verbatim text message from a member of Beta Theta Pi at Vanderbilt University. He apparently sent the texts to the wrong girl, who, according to our tipster, is in the school of music at Vandy. Credit goes to GDI Productions (yes, GDI Productions) for creating this song.

And here it is:

After clearly being shot down, he responds with “Your loss. I pack heat and hang dong. If I flew the coop every time a chick begged me to walk over and pound her in the ass instead of doing my homework, I’d fail out of schoooooooooool.”

WHO TEXTS LIKE THAT?

    1. ThomasMuthafuckinJefferson

      Phil Collins-esqe drum solos are the musical equivalent flopping’ your dong atop your desk in Econ 1401.

      5 years ago at 1:19 am
  1. CommodoreVU

    It should also be noted that Beta at Vandy got kicked off campus for multiple infractions earlier this year.

    5 years ago at 10:13 pm
      1. ColonelJackSanders

        Didn’t they disband on their own because they knew they would be mega fucked? I could be misinformed.

        5 years ago at 11:23 pm
      2. legend10

        No Vandy has absurdly strict alcohol rules and it was for having three different liquor related violations…

        5 years ago at 9:57 am
  2. Lwaust

    I thought this was just going to be her and a pianist, when the orchestra broke loose I knew I had thought wrong.

    5 years ago at 11:28 pm
  3. DubyaH2

    How does this guy know so many chicks that are begging him to come in the back door??

    5 years ago at 11:54 pm
    1. ringchingpiphi

      Gonna go out on a limb here and guess that he doesn’t have nearly as many girls begging to be “pounded in the ass” as he’d like her to believe…

      5 years ago at 1:42 pm