Harambe The Noble Ape Was A Native Texan
Well, this stings.
Harambe, the Noble Ape who was violently murdered by his Zoo Oppressors in Cincinnati last May, was actually a native Texan. It’s unfortunate to see any gorilla taken from this earth too soon, but it especially hurts to know that the gorilla was one of your own.
According to his Wikipedia page, Harambe was born in Brownsville, Tex. in May 1999. Harambe had only been in Cincinnati for two years before ultimately being executed a day after his 17th birthday.
This all raises the question: Where is Harambe buried? If Harambe is actually a native Texan, he belongs here at home. In Texas. We won’t stand for our own being held captive in the vile land of “Skyline Chili.” He deserves better than that.
If you are a Texan and this doesn’t pull on your heartstrings, something is seriously wrong with you. It’s time we stand up together, as the Nation of Texas, and demand that our mighty gorilla is sent home for a proper burial. We won’t stand for anything less..
Be sure to pick up our new Rowdy Harambe and Harambe 2016 t-shirts:
Okay.. TFM might be going overboard with this harambe shit
10 years ago at 3:05 pmMostly because Steve holt posted an article about it
10 years ago at 3:05 pmSteve we dont need your help to know this is getting out of hand
10 years ago at 3:06 pmThis is worse than the several months you guys tried to profit on “dad bods.” You guys are milking this harder than I would milk Margot Robbie
10 years ago at 3:08 pmHarley Quinn can get it
10 years ago at 3:25 pmYour mom can get it too! Zinnnnnnggggg
10 years ago at 3:44 pmwe should fight over the fact that you just insinuated the Duchess of Bay Ridge was a cow.
10 years ago at 3:53 pmrelax, bro.
10 years ago at 7:05 pmNow they’re just putting these Harambe articles up to piss people off
10 years ago at 3:12 pm3 harambe post in 24 hours… New material would be appreciated
10 years ago at 3:17 pmCorrection *4 posts
10 years ago at 3:23 pmMy initial reaction to this was “God dammit TFM that’s enough with the Harambe shit!” But then it hit me. Steve Holt was too much of a blithering idiot to come up with real stories so he killed Harambe so that he would have something to write about #SteveHoltKilledHarambe #
10 years ago at 3:20 pmFuck the extra hashtag. Tech guy give me an edit button
10 years ago at 3:21 pmI want to take that stupid shirt and choke you with it
10 years ago at 3:21 pmI’m glad our world is burning around us and this is news.
10 years ago at 3:25 pmHarambe deserved better than exploitation for profit from this dumpster fire of a website.
10 years ago at 3:46 pmThis sad attempt to cash in on a meme disgusts me. $25 for a damn shirt with a meme that will be dead in a month? No fucking thanks
10 years ago at 3:47 pm