Harambe The Noble Ape Was A Native Texan
Well, this stings.
Harambe, the Noble Ape who was violently murdered by his Zoo Oppressors in Cincinnati last May, was actually a native Texan. It’s unfortunate to see any gorilla taken from this earth too soon, but it especially hurts to know that the gorilla was one of your own.
According to his Wikipedia page, Harambe was born in Brownsville, Tex. in May 1999. Harambe had only been in Cincinnati for two years before ultimately being executed a day after his 17th birthday.
This all raises the question: Where is Harambe buried? If Harambe is actually a native Texan, he belongs here at home. In Texas. We won’t stand for our own being held captive in the vile land of “Skyline Chili.” He deserves better than that.
If you are a Texan and this doesn’t pull on your heartstrings, something is seriously wrong with you. It’s time we stand up together, as the Nation of Texas, and demand that our mighty gorilla is sent home for a proper burial. We won’t stand for anything less..
Be sure to pick up our new Rowdy Harambe and Harambe 2016 t-shirts:
Jesus, enough already!!! This is getting fucking pathetic….
10 years ago at 3:47 pmEven though they are the same species, it seems that Harambe was more eligible to be President than Obama.
10 years ago at 4:23 pmYou’re a monster holt, skyline chilli is fucking exhilarating
10 years ago at 5:24 pmI would’ve passed this off as a typical garbage SteveHolt article were it not for the unapologetic shilling of your shitty shirts at the end.
Harambe didn’t die so you cunts could make a quick buck. Fuck off with this and let him rest in piece.
10 years ago at 9:31 pm