Indisputable Ranking Of The Easiest Colleges At Which To Get Laid
9 years ago

FSU 2

The other day, a buddy and I were planning a college football stadium tour, which led to us discussing which colleges at which it’s easiest to get laid, because that shit is important when planning a trip such as this.

With one hell of a problem to solve, I went to work. I spent countless hours in a dark room studying hundreds upon thousands of personal memories and the eyewitness accounts of others. I broke down the Xs and Os, assessed the strengths and weaknesses of each school, and covered everything in between.

I was able to come up with these very objective, and unquestionable, rankings.

10. University of North Texas

UNT

Sitting quietly in the northwest corner of DFW lies the quaint University of North Texas, home to the fightin’ Mean Green and a whole mess of sex. Hitting up Fry Street on any given night and going home with someone is as likely as their football team struggling to make a bowl game. This is truly an honor they can brag about, unlike the banner they used to hang on Fouts Field that proclaimed “Back-To-Back National Champions” in big letters with “in total rushing yards” in small letters below it.

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  2. Frattie Smalls

    Wow this doesn’t look like a completely arbitrary grouping of campuses based off of school size/vicinity to your offices in Texas at all. Really in-depth research here, champ.

    9 years ago at 3:05 pm
  3. CattleRancher

    I was starting to worry that we wouldn’t get another one of these shitty college ranking articles this week. Thanks for remembering.

    9 years ago at 3:06 pm
    1. CommCollege69

      A school where NJ, Maryland and PA kids go when they don’t get into Penn State and aren’t ghetto enough for Rutgers or Maryland.

      9 years ago at 3:20 pm
      1. SperryTheFratypus

        Maryland isn’t ghetto, everything is just kinda backwards. For instance, FIJI and TKE are top tier chapters, DG and ZTA are filled with ugly and or/fat chicks, and people care more about basketball than they do football. Also there are a shit ton of Jews and Asians.

        9 years ago at 4:20 pm
      2. CommCollege69

        I was under the impression that the townies were rampant savages and College Park was a crime capital.

        9 years ago at 5:02 pm
      3. TerraKingPin

        About every two hours we get an update about some “off-campus robbery.”

        So yeah just about everything in this particular thread is true

        9 years ago at 1:54 pm
      4. Shut up Meg

        my left ass cheek could get into PSU. Dont even try that bs round here. Now go hit the showers.

        9 years ago at 4:43 pm
      5. CommCollege69

        In reality all four schools are pretty close academically but Penn State is the best college town by far.

        9 years ago at 5:00 pm
      6. Grenade_Diving_Wingman

        Let me guess, you go to rutgers or one of those shitty SUNY schools?

        9 years ago at 6:07 pm
      10. Grenade_Diving_Wingman

        Most of the cars in state college are beemers or audis, so PSU isn’t exactly full of poor kids

        9 years ago at 5:57 pm
  6. CommodoreVU

    So these really shitty state schools that accept any dumbass into their schools are the easiest to get laid at? Color me surprised. A list article with multiple pages and no facts/references? This reads an SFPL article to me.

    9 years ago at 3:18 pm
  8. Nolanwastaken

    “This list is fucking stupid! (Insert name of university you attend here) should easily be top 4 on this list!! Fuck you and eat my dick” – Male university attendee who believes because he has fornicated with his fair share of generous 5’s his school should make the list.

    9 years ago at 3:21 pm