Mizzou Campus PD Tells Students To Dial 911 If They Hear People Say Mean Things
10 years ago

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It’s official. The University of Missouri has completely gone off the deep end. In an email sent out this morning, the campus police encourage anyone to call them “immediately” for any incidents of “hateful and/or hurtful speech.” It’s all part of an effort to “ensure that the University of Missouri campus remains safe.”

Great idea. Because attempting to define hurtful speech won’t be a complete disaster.

Remember “1984” and the whole thought police thing you were forced to read about in high school? No wait, remember when you were a fucking preschooler and your mom told you “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you”?

This is a genuinely sad day. The entire structure of Mizzou has collapsed under the pressure of political correctness — so much so, that the freedom of speech is now being publicly decried as a cause for police involvement and disciplinary action. But not to worry, I’m sure the police will handle each incident calmly and without violence. They usually do a swell job with that sort of thing.

Not only that, but if someone offends you on campus, it is now seen as an EMERGENCY SITUATION. Are you fucking kidding me?

“We’re sorry, Mrs. Johnson. We regret to inform you that your son passed away this morning of an asthma attack. First responders were tied up… someone called a vibrant, full-bodied woman a ‘fatty’ and she required immediate attention.”

Fun idea for the pledges:

I found solace in everything that happened yesterday by believing that Melissa Click and Janna Basler, the school administrators who called for student journalists to be forcibly removed for legally photographing the protestors, would surely be fired. But after seeing this, it is clear that the insanity at Mizzou runs so deep, justice probably won’t be served. Constitutional rights do not apply to Columbia, Missouri.

BUT WHAT ABOUT MY RIGHT TO NOT BE OFFENDED!?

You gave up that right when you were born in a free country. Get over yourself. Cunt.

People in charge at Mizzou, you guys are just embarrassing yourselves at this point.

Image via YouTube

  4. davidfratersonIpresume

    I pray to god mizzou isn’t the first domino to fall and this kind of extreme social justice and hyper-pussification doesn’t spread to other institutions of higher learning. If this kind of shit starts going on at multiple universities than we may all be utterly fucked.

    10 years ago at 12:10 pm
    1. ImHereForTheGangbang

      I hope that incidents like this finally get people to wake up and push back against this PC bullshit. The fact that even some left wing news orgs are reporting the story (and siding with the reporter) is promising.

      10 years ago at 1:51 pm
  7. geed_N_proud

    The foresight that George Orwell possessed is amazing. When I read that book in high school I thought it was so fascinating that a place could ever turn into something like that and frankly thought it impossible. Now I’m not so sure. One day it’s losing jobs for something like this, the next day it’s shock treatment until you lose your ability to form your own unique opinions. Fuck this new wave liberalism bullshit.

    10 years ago at 12:24 pm
  10. SteveHoltOnDrugs

    The colonists who died at Lexington should have put up a sign that said “Safe Space.”

    10 years ago at 12:28 pm
    1. Fratasaurus

      Those colonists were all white males. You are a mysoginistic racist for bringing up history like that.

      10 years ago at 4:26 pm
  11. Esq.

    This reporting is actually much appreciated, TFM. Not bad for a satirical fraternity website.

    10 years ago at 12:29 pm