Mizzou Campus PD Tells Students To Dial 911 If They Hear People Say Mean Things
It’s official. The University of Missouri has completely gone off the deep end. In an email sent out this morning, the campus police encourage anyone to call them “immediately” for any incidents of “hateful and/or hurtful speech.” It’s all part of an effort to “ensure that the University of Missouri campus remains safe.”
Well, this is an interesting email. pic.twitter.com/apMCbpym3e
— Madi Alexander (@MadiLAlexander) November 10, 2015
Great idea. Because attempting to define hurtful speech won’t be a complete disaster.
Remember “1984” and the whole thought police thing you were forced to read about in high school? No wait, remember when you were a fucking preschooler and your mom told you “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you”?
This is a genuinely sad day. The entire structure of Mizzou has collapsed under the pressure of political correctness — so much so, that the freedom of speech is now being publicly decried as a cause for police involvement and disciplinary action. But not to worry, I’m sure the police will handle each incident calmly and without violence. They usually do a swell job with that sort of thing.
Not only that, but if someone offends you on campus, it is now seen as an EMERGENCY SITUATION. Are you fucking kidding me?
“We’re sorry, Mrs. Johnson. We regret to inform you that your son passed away this morning of an asthma attack. First responders were tied up… someone called a vibrant, full-bodied woman a ‘fatty’ and she required immediate attention.”
Fun idea for the pledges:
Some heroes should hit payphones by Mizzou and flood the line with stuff like, "A guy called me a butt. I'm not a butt. I'M A HUMAN BEING."
— Rob Fox III (@BaconTFM) November 10, 2015
I found solace in everything that happened yesterday by believing that Melissa Click and Janna Basler, the school administrators who called for student journalists to be forcibly removed for legally photographing the protestors, would surely be fired. But after seeing this, it is clear that the insanity at Mizzou runs so deep, justice probably won’t be served. Constitutional rights do not apply to Columbia, Missouri.
BUT WHAT ABOUT MY RIGHT TO NOT BE OFFENDED!?
You gave up that right when you were born in a free country. Get over yourself. Cunt.
People in charge at Mizzou, you guys are just embarrassing yourselves at this point..
Image via YouTube
This is horse apples. When I was growing up, the neighborhood kids used to call me “Buttbreath” and “Free Willy” but did I ever go to the police. Yes because I’m a pussy.
10 years ago at 12:31 pmWait, that supports the article. Disregard what I just wrote.
10 years ago at 12:31 pmUPDATE: It worked. The fucking president of the University resigned.
10 years ago at 12:39 pmWay to blow a load in your own face Missouri
10 years ago at 12:40 pmAnd now I understand why my dad hit me every time I was being a lil pussy….
10 years ago at 12:41 pmI opened this article thinking “Huh, Boosh has joined DeVry Guy and taken a shot at frat satire. This should be interesting.” Instead, I feel like I’m watching my country collapse.
10 years ago at 12:56 pmM I Z … ?
10 years ago at 1:03 pmI would have the biggest shit eating grin in my mugshot if I got arrested for hurting someone’s feelings. No way that holds up in any sort of court and might even get a payday out of it if you are feeling particularly petty.
10 years ago at 1:20 pmHey read the email, it said,
10 years ago at 1:59 pm” while cases of hateful/hurtful are not crimes, if the individual(s) identified are students, MU’s office of student conduct can take disciplinary action”
Nobody is getting arrested for saying something anything hateful
The best way to respond to this is to overload the phones with prank reports:
“My professor said that my paper ‘lacked rigor’ and the arguments were ‘too soft’. As a person who suffers from erectile disfunction, these terms are very hateful and have triggered my PTSD that I got when I couldn’t get an erection for my girlfriend last week and she called me ‘soft dick’. Can you send an officer to my classroom to escort me to the campus hate speech crisis crisis, please? I’m feeling really emotionally threatened right now and I’m not comfortable being in the same room as my professor anymore. If I don’t get to a Safe Space soon I might have a panic attack.”
10 years ago at 1:45 pmOrwell/Blair 2016.
10 years ago at 1:56 pmSounds like the University of Missouri needs to hire Officer Todd Storm to figure this shit out.
10 years ago at 1:58 pm