Morgantown Bans Outdoor Furniture Because WVU Students Keep Burning Them After Games

Harrison Lee9 years ago

If you’ve ever been in Morgantown, West Virginia after a big Mountaineer win, then you know that they take their celebrations from 0 to 100 real quick. Mothers lock up their daughters, parents put the kids to bed, doors are locked, and couches say their last words before succumbing to their fiery death. It’s a pretty awesome scene.

Exhibit A – After winning the Big East in basketball:

Exhibit B – After Osama was killed:

Well, here comes the fun police. The town of Morgantown is sick and tired of the kids having their fun, so they are just going to curb the behavior by banning upholstered furniture from being placed on lawns or porches.

From WV Public:

In response to the many street fires following big football and basketball games, Morgantown unanimously passed a law Tuesday, April 7, that bans upholstered furniture outdoors.

Morgantown City Manager Jeff Mikorski said the ban is an attempt to stem the number of fires that often spring up after West Virginia University games.

Seriously, this can’t be that big of an issue, right? I mean, West Virginia has about six big wins a year in both the big sports. According to Mikorski, there have been a substantial number of street fires over the last ten years.

“Over the last 10 years, we’ve had over 3,000 street fires because of the quick ability to bring furniture from porches and put it into the streets and put them on fire,” he said.

It’s not their fault that there is literally nothing to do in West Virginia besides light shit on fire and make moonshine. How else are these kids going to celebrate? You’re only driving them further into the shine business. The good news for students is that a first time offense is only a written citation, with the second offense resulting in a $500 fine. Make that one time count.

Don’t let the man keep you kids in Morgantown down..

[via WV Public]