Boston Bomber Rushed Every Fraternity At UMass Dartmouth, Didn’t Receive A Bid
13 years ago

A student at the University of Massachusetts-Dartmouth sent us a tip that Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the younger suspect — the one that was captured alive on Friday — accused of setting off a bomb at the Boston Marathon, rushed his fraternity. I followed up with an email to gather more information.

His response:

He came out to our dodgeball event one night. He seemed kind of shy but a couple of us were talking to him to try to get to know him a bit. He seemed kind of normal which is the scary part.

He didn’t seem incredibly outgoing, but he also didn’t rub anyone the wrong way. He came to the dodgeball event, talked to brothers and other rushees and came across as a normal kid, which I hate to say because this piece of shit is the scum of the earth. He also had the balls to come back to campus on Tuesday, the day after the attack, and use his school ID to swipe into the gym. He was also in an intramural soccer league and played on a team with one of my brothers last year.

I just asked some of my brothers. I was informed that he actually rushed with me in the fall of 2011, as well as this past fall. He has rushed every fraternity on campus and never got a bid from anyone.

There you have it. Although seemingly pretty normal, albeit reserved and introverted, young terrorist-in-the-making Dzhokhar wasn’t quite UMass-Dartmouth Greek material.

Image via ABC News

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    3. RaginBush84

      ^^normally in favor of too soon jokes, but you should go take a walk in a mine field bud

      13 years ago at 2:46 pm
    11. Richard Head

      Come on now, why are you all blowing up at this guy? He’s just trying to fit in. You’re making him feel like he’s in a pressure cooker of emotion.

      13 years ago at 7:22 pm
    12. The_ChiIis_Guy

      Oh my God, a star is born. Chili’s Guy Seal of Approval. It will be short lived, but your trolling will be glorious.

      13 years ago at 12:05 am
    13. red_yolo_cup

      Blackball this fuck. This is like a slap in the face to America on one of the most Patriotic sites on the web.

      13 years ago at 8:28 pm
  8. guywhowearssperrys

    So I ‘m wearing my sperrys to a party and I see this really hot girl, but I was too shy to start jacking off! So I walk into the corner of the room, unzip my chubbies, and start spanking the fratcock. I’m going at it like I’m trying to water a plant and I notice that a lot of people at the party are staring at me. So then I go, “It’s ok I’m in a frat!” They should have known anyways because I was wearing sperrys, but whatever, GDI’s are kind of weird like that. For some strange reason now people at the party were moving away from me. Then all of a sudden the owner of the party walks up to me. So I’m like “Woah I like girls bro! Not cool!” And he’s like “You have to leave.” See at that moment the girl I saw earlier bent over to get something and I uncontrollably jizzed all over this guys face. I knew now that I was in trouble so I did the only thing I could do. I took off my sperrys and everyone in the party ran away crying.

    13 years ago at 2:45 pm
    4. Tuco1855

      You need to stop hanging out with GDI’s. I feel like most of your stories include you being with some geeds. Whats your deal, man? I’m starting to think that you’re a GDI and the Sperrys that you always talk about were borrowed from someone close to you and aren’t even yours.

      13 years ago at 8:18 pm
    8. YouEnjoyMyFrat

      My favorite character on TFM. Next to the turkey, jiffy lube guy, and farmer bob

      13 years ago at 9:42 pm