“The Frattiest Quarterbacks in the NFL” According to BuzzFeed

I don’t take much issue with the quarterbacks listed or even the order (although Eli listed anywhere outside the top two or three is ludicrous), but his reasoning and perpetuation of the same, tired “frat guy” persona is a little over the top. For example, here is his writeup for his number one choice in Matt Stafford:

Besides being a red Solo cups and backwards hat enthusiast, Matt Stafford looks like he constantly calls everyone “bruh.” Not “bro.” Not “brah.” Always “bruh.” As in, “I don’t know what happened, we were good last year, bruh,” and “Megatron, why did you agree to be on Madden? This is all your faul, bruh.” Also he went to Georgia. Also this photo exists.

He also has Ben Rapelisberger coming in at number three with the implication that it’s due to his rapey tendencies. Talk about some low hangin’ fruit there. I mean come on, Jackie. Everyone knows rape is NF, man.

And the list:

1. Matt Stafford
2. Matt Ryan
3. Ben Roethlisberger
4. Matt Leinart
5. Brady Quinn
6. Matt Cassel
7. Peyton Manning
8. Jay Cutler
9. Tony Romo
10. Ryan Tannehill
11. Cam Newton
12. Tim Tebow
13. Eli Manning

And here is your foremost authority on all things frat, BuzzFeed writer Jack Moore:

This is his “I’m so fratty that I have to fight chicks off with a baseball bat” look. Nice list though, bruh.

[Source]

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    1. fratanomics

      Blaine Gabbert shouldn’t even be in the NFL, so there’s no fucking way he’s on this list.

      8 years ago at 10:08 am
    2. WestTexasFrat

      The Waltz…I see what you did there. I was watching that game live. Nice move.

      8 years ago at 12:41 pm
    1. Boat shoes and Booze

      Tebow’s a fucking pansy, he’s probably never had more than 3 beers in a sitting.

      8 years ago at 9:12 pm
  1. Angry Guy

    HOLY SHIT DORN..It’s already past NOON on Monday and THERE’S NO NEW COLUMN YET. Do you guys even go into fucking work?? I’LL LITERALLY KILL YOU.

    8 years ago at 10:16 am
    1. Angry Guy

      THERE STILL HASN’T BEEN A COLUMN ALL GODDAMN DAY LONG DOOOOORN!! I’M LITERALLY ON MY WAY TO AUSTIN RIGHT NOW AND I’M UPPING THE ANTE TO LYNCHING YOUR WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY. Do I care that it’s a national holiday? FUCK NO. I had school today and there wasn’t any new funny shit on the internet. CLASS IS OVER NOW MOTHERFUCKER I’LL FIND YOU!!!

      8 years ago at 4:49 pm
  2. Papa_Burgundy

    Stafford, Rapistberger, Brady Quinn, Tannehill, Cam Newton and Tebitch most certainly do not belong on this list. And where the fuck are Drew Brees and Aaron Rodgers??

    8 years ago at 10:18 am
    1. Rutherford B_Haze

      ^^ wifes. NF. You can count out our new QB as well. I heard he got in a bar fight sticking up for one of his darker friends.

      8 years ago at 11:04 am
  3. Vandal

    i think youre all missing the point. the column is ludicrous and should not be take seriously due to the overwhelmingly creppy/geedy author.

    8 years ago at 10:44 am
    1. Bone Padre

      It’s not rape if your dad is one of the top 250 richest businessman in Nebraska.

      8 years ago at 7:19 pm
    2. NorthStarFrat

      everyone in this comment needs to DIE, honestly you’re all going to hell. and who the fuck cares about nebraska?

      8 years ago at 2:35 pm
    3. Bone Padre

      Hey! HOW DARE YOU. I don’t care that his nipples are darker and hairier than that of Mighty Joe Young’s; mi padre’s un great man! And he can rape and plunder and gash stab whomever he damn well pleases, senor! HE OWNS A DAIRY QUEEN.

      Andale! Andale! Arriba! Arriba!

      8 years ago at 4:12 pm