The Official 2016 Frat Bracket: Round Of 64

Jared Borislow10 years ago

#1 Butt stuff vs. #16 Smirnoff Ice

I still love icing people, but, even at its peak, Smirnoff Ice would’ve been a #10 seed. #BUTTSTUFF2016, on the other hand, is in full effect.

[poll id=”58″]

#2 Hazing vs. #15 Seersucker

Seersucker is seen by many as tryhard these days. Damn stripey shit flew too close to the sun. Hazing, on the other hand, is still in style, and is also good for the soul (find out why here). I mean, it’s hazing for God’s sake. It could take it all. Not on upset alert here, but will be checking back in every so often. Juuuust to make sure.

[poll id=”59″]

#3 Tailgates vs. #14 Cracked iPhone screens

There are infinity reasons to love tailgates (here are 30 of them), and there are zero reasons to love cracked iPhone screens. This bracket isn’t about what is your favorite frat thing, though — it’s just about what is the most frat. And what self-respecting fraternity man hasn’t shattered at least one iPhone screen?

[poll id=”60″]

#4 Plan B vs. #13 Vomit

Plan B goes right there alongside “not pulling out,” but edged it out in terms of seeding because it shows you are wealthy enough to spend money on something related to your “jizz now, care later” attitude. Vomit is vomit. This one really depends on your experiences with vomit, I guess. Side note: Combining these two things can have very disastrous side effects.

[poll id=”61″]

#5 Fake IDs vs. #12 Jumping on foldable tables

Jumping on foldable tables during beer pong dunks or with the intention of shattering them is a very recent phenomenon. No chance it would’ve made the tournament any other year, but it definitely deserves a nod in 2016. Fake IDs show that you’re willing to get arrested just for the opportunity to drink alcohol in public. Very F.

[poll id=”62″]

#6 Plausible deniability vs. #11 Minor in Possession tickets

If your fraternity has ever narrowly avoided getting into massive amounts of trouble, odds are you can attribute that to plausible deniability. If you ever got into a small amount of trouble with the law and you’re in a fraternity, there is a 75% chance it was an MIP.

[poll id=”63″]

#7 Republicanism vs. #10 Cigarettes

Everything about this year’s Republican candidate pool is terrible (with the exception of Trump’s hot sorority girl daughter, Tiffany). I would not be surprised to see cigs pull a minor upset.

[poll id=”64″]

#8 YETI coolers vs. #9 Boners

Keep your beer cold, or get your dick wet? This one could go either way, depending on how much ass you’ve been getting lately, and how thirsty you are.

[poll id=”65″]

Bracket design by Connor Davis. Follow him on Instagram.