Why I Joined A Fraternity And Why You Should, Too
Across the nation, rush is beginning to heat up. If it’s not already in full swing, it’s rapidly accelerating into a full-time job for those in charge of it. With that said, I realize there are many of you who love this site and think fraternity life may be for you, but are not yet convinced enough to pull the trigger and sign up for rush. For those of you with an embarrassingly short attention span who cannot focus long enough to read this column, the answer is: sign up right now. If you would like to hear the reasons why you should sign up for rush, please continue reading.
I have never alluded to my pre-writing life on here, but I have one very NF confession: I hated fraternities and I nearly didn’t rush.
It’s true. I did hate fraternities. In fact, as much as I loved this website my senior year of high school, it presented a perspective of fraternities that almost steered me clear of Greek life. Sure, we always say it’s “satire,” and that’s the truth–it IS satire. However, as an impressionable high school youth with no family ties to fraternities or sororities, I was slowly led to believe something that was not true. I saw fraternities as cesspools of debauchery and immorality. Although I was an athletic and intelligent high school student, I felt as though that crowd may not be for me.
I specifically remember one of my best friends discussing fraternities with me as I ran around the track during practice one afternoon, just weeks before graduation. He jokingly said, “I can’t wait to join [fraternity redacted], I hear they do a lot of cocaine. That’s so badass.” I laughed with him, but inside, it only further developed my misconceptions.
Fellow students asked me repeatedly, “Why aren’t you rushing?” I never really had an answer other than, “I just don’t think that life is for me.”
Fast-forward several months into the summer. I found myself on the shores of Florida, enjoying a beach trip with friends. One of the guys on the trip with me, one of my best friends, had just completed his freshman year at the university I was set to attend (shout out to you, JJ). He had gone Greek and was determined to change my views and sign me up for fall rush. After several days of nonstop discussion, I broke down and sent in my information to the Department of Greek Affairs. I, one of the most anti-Greek people I knew, was taking the plunge.
It quickly became one of the best decisions I had ever made.
The fear of the unknown that had kept me at a distance quickly disappeared as I realized that fraternities are not breeding grounds of rape, the objectification of women, and overt drug and alcohol use, but rather unique, miniature communities of college-aged males who enjoy being with one another and like the infinite perks that come with being initiated into a fraternity.
Fraternity brothers become your family away from home. They become your confidants when things get rough, yet they’re also the ones who will kick you back into gear when you need to be set straight.
Think of the number of fraternity chapters throughout the country. I haven’t done the math, but I would imagine there are thousands of chapters. Now, recall the number of fraternities that are featured on this very site for their despicable actions or downright stupidity. In the grand scheme of things, that number is nearly irrelevant.
The fact of the matter is that any large group of men in their late teens and early twenties are going to find themselves in trouble at some point. The odds are against them. The law does not discriminate between Greeks and those who are unaffiliated. However, a news headline featuring an outrageous, illegal action with fraternity letters plastered next to it draws ratings.
Rape, sexual assault, drug use, and other illegal, reprehensible activities occur in our society all day, every day. Pick up your local paper and count the number of everyday citizens arrested for those crimes. They outnumber the Greek affiliated college students arrested for the same crimes by far. My point is, for those of you who think that joining a fraternity condemns you to four years of immoral and criminal activities, you are incorrect. In fact, if you decide to rush, you will be pleasantly surprised at what you find.
Many of you may not be worried so much about the overblown reports of rampant drug use and other issues that are often associated with Greeks, but rather you are unsure if you will fit in, or if you’ll be ostracized for not being of a certain race or for wearing a certain brand. Let me tell you, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
If you are reading this, you’ve most likely read Fail Friday at some point. Check out one of the most recent editions and count the number of kids wearing letters. Yes, those kids received bids and were initiated into fraternities. If they found a home, there is absolutely no reason you can’t as well.
I believed that I would not find a home, that I would be the outcast of my pledge class. That wasn’t the case at all. You will meet fellow pledge brothers for the first time and tell yourself, “There’s no way I will ever like this kid.” Sure enough, by the end of the semester, that kid is your best friend. Things have a funny way of working out, and it always, without a doubt, works out.
By the end of my freshman year, I had gone from one of the most anti-fraternity graduates at my high school to one of the highest ranked pledges of my class. I fell in love with it instantly, and it is something that I now know I would have forever regretted had I not taken the leap of faith and rushed.
While I do understand that fraternity life is not for everyone, I highly encourage EVERYONE to go through the rush process and experience the brothers firsthand. Fraternities are truly exceptional organizations and have become a vital part of my daily college life. Just like everything else in life, that which is unknown is the most frightening.
If you’re unsure as to whether or not Greek life may be for you, I encourage you to find an active brother or alumnus of any fraternity and ask him any questions you may have. Meet some of his brothers and gain firsthand knowledge of fraternity life. Who knows? You may just end up like me.
Take the plunge, men. It’s an experience that doesn’t compare to anything else.
great writing! i was also against Greek Life in the beginning of freshman year. all it takes is talking to a couple of brothers and you will understand how different fraternities are from the stereotypical frat.
10 years ago at 11:35 amFraternity*
10 years ago at 9:50 pmKeep walkin’ pal.
10 years ago at 12:39 amShould’ve included rush boobs
10 years ago at 11:42 am“Now, recall the number of fraternities that are featured on this very site for their despicable actions or downright stupidity. In the grand scheme of things, that number is nearly irrelevant.”
So the numbers of people getting hazed (like the pledge at CSUN who died a couple weeks ago in LA) are practically “IRRELEVANT” in the grand scheme of things? Seriously? What an insultingly DISGUSTING poor choice of words. It’s like saying “Well, only 10% of women get raped everyday, so because 90% aren’t, that 10% is pretty much meaningless and irrelevant.”
The truth of the matter is, is that while deplorable activities happen all over the world, it seems to be a breeding ground for fraternities everywhere. Furthermore, while you think the numbers are “low” in the grand scheme of things, you’re only talking about the incidents that you KNEW about and that were reported. I know plenty of inappropriate actions by fraternity guys that I know were never reported because the girls and guys did not want to come forward.
Do yourself a favor and think before you write. No one’s rape or exploitation should be considered “irrelevant” just because it didn’t happen to 100% of the population. Educate yourself. You went to a university to learn in the first place, didn’t you?
10 years ago at 12:00 pmTl;dr
10 years ago at 12:10 pmProbably because you don’t even know how. :/
10 years ago at 12:12 pmI think you may have missed the point.
He didn’t mean the actions weren’t deplorable and the individuals or fraternity shouldn’t be held accountable, but it’s only a fraction of the Greek community doing these things. Bogey made a good point by saying several young men in large groups will find ways to get in hot water.
TFM has done a great job of bring these issues to light (re: the rape email).
We are glad you’re here, but maybe lay off that last cup of coffee…
10 years ago at 12:11 pmI understand what you’re saying, but the fact that he said it was almost “irrelevant” is such a poor, poor, choice of words that I had to speak out. Not representative? Sure, you can say that. But never irrelevant.
10 years ago at 12:18 pmIt’s irrelevant in the sense that it’s such a small ratio that those crimes can’t be correlated with fraternity membership. Crimes like that happen in all walks of life, in much greater numbers no doubt.
10 years ago at 2:11 pmIf it’s not representative, then it is irrelevant. A clown can be found to have murdered someone, but you can’t then add “clowns are murderers” to every headline and story
10 years ago at 9:08 pmTake a chill pill, man.
I don’t think he’s saying an incident should be taken lightly since we’re only a small amount of the total amount of incidents. He’s saying that your view shouldn’t be skewed because of a few bad apples. It’s just a sweeping generalization that if one does it, we all do it.
TL; DR Your argument fucking sucks and you twist words like a liberal.
10 years ago at 12:12 pmWhat does being liberal or conservative have to do with it; those actions may not be representative but they are not irrelevant. They shouldn’t be brushed aside or euphemized.
10 years ago at 12:20 pmBeing liberal means you’re wrong.
10 years ago at 2:44 amgo back to jezebel, gdi.
10 years ago at 12:17 pmWoah there, calm down. I don’t think he meant to say that anyone’s individual case is irrelevant. But the amount of bull shit like this that happens outside of Greek organizations compared to the amount of offenses inside them makes the the number of offenses that fraternities/sororities commit seem minuscule. There for, as a whole, irrelevant to fixing the problem. When the media makes it seem like we’re the problem.
10 years ago at 12:42 pm“Irrelevant” was not applied to the aforementioned disgusting acts. “Irrelevant” was applied to the decision making process regarding whether to participate in rush. The author’s argument was “if you are dissuaded from rushing because you believe that fraternities have a higher incident rate of despicable acts, you are incorrect.” In other words, the author was pointing out a rate or percentage. While imperfect, it would be something like “number of incidents divided by number of fraternities (or number of fraternity men” as compared to “number of incidents not involving fraternity men divided by number of ::whatever other class measure you would want to insert::”
No one in their right mind denies that incidents involving fraternity men occur and no one in their right mind would dispute underreporting occurs as well. That said, if you think underreporting only occurs with greek-related incidents, then you are stupid, naive, or willfully ignorant likely out of an anti-greek bias.
But to pivot to the larger point–and what is likely your real issue–true fraternity men do not condone, approve, attempt, or otherwise celebrate rape, sexual assault, or anything similar. Having fun and partying are not replacements for having good character. Ultimately that’s what greek life, done right, teaches. The people in fraternities who commit such acts are the exact people that don’t understand what it’s really about.
TL;DR: No one thinks the incidents are irrelevant, unless they’re a complete fuckhead. It’s about the fact greek life isn’t any more or less vile than anything else in life, but at least greek life wants to teach people to be better.
10 years ago at 12:44 pmwhat are you some kind of mom?
10 years ago at 1:07 pmNF
10 years ago at 1:54 pmTry a little harder. You were almost there.
10 years ago at 1:58 pmBringing up your High school athleticism in every column. TFM.
10 years ago at 2:34 pmI can 100% relate to this. Your brothers really are your brothers.
10 years ago at 3:22 pm[…] some old-timey WTFs -The Chive Why I Joined A Fraternity And Why You Should, Too -Total Frat […]
10 years ago at 3:25 pmPerfectly describes how I previously felt about Greek life and how I know feel after giving it a try.
10 years ago at 1:13 pm“Rape, objectification of women, and overt drug and alcohol use” sounds a lot like a PIKE party. The latter two sound a lot like the typical greek party.
10 years ago at 3:09 pmWell said
10 years ago at 6:57 pmComing from a non-Greek (aka GDI or idiot, take your pick), I honestly think I made a mistake not rushing during my time in undergrad. Some of my closest friends in my current program were Greek and they have such strong bonds with their brothers, I’m disappointed I missed out on it.
Go Greek or, you know, regret it.
10 years ago at 7:04 pm