The Official 2016 Frat Bracket: Round Of 32
The West Coast Region
#1 Chevy Tahoes vs. #9 5″ inseam shorts
The victor of a barnburner in the round of 64, 5″ inseam shorts now face off against the consensus most fraternal vehicles ever conceived: Chevy Tahoes. Short shorts are frat, but are they short enough and frat enough to take down a 1 seed? I mean, we’re talking about the Chevy Frathoe. The ideal vehicle for transporting college dudes as they partake in debaucherous activities like spring break, mountain weekends, and whacking mailboxes with baseball bats. Let’s see what happens.
[poll id=”70″]
#2 “You up?” texts vs. #7 Not graduating on time
This is a very interesting matchup. On the one hand, you have “You up?” texts, which a fraternity man uses in an attempt to engage in emotionless late-night sex. On the other, you have extra time in college, which affords you the opportunity to get hammered for an extra semester (or two (or three)), continue to chill with your boys, as well as, yes — send more “You up?” texts. This one should play out interestingly.
[poll id=”71″]
#4 Ray-Bans vs. #5 Trust funds
This one’s a complete toss-up. You can’t go wrong with either one. I have a feeling that Ray-Bans’ popularity is going to jettison them to victory, but who knows? Trust funds are frat enough to kick them to the curb. After all — you can buy a fuck ton of Ray-Bans with trust fund money.
[poll id=”72″]
#11 Beer showers vs. #14 Shower beers
Beer showers vs. shower beers: the matchup we all wanted NEEDED to see. Is it more frat to shower your fraternity brothers in beer in celebration of some (probably meaningless) victory, or to pregame with a brewski while showering? This is what March Fratness is all about right here. I might tear up when the final results come out.
[poll id=”73″]
Did Total Frat Move even make the NIT?
10 years ago at 10:29 amSuprised they didn’t throw rowdy gentleman on this bracket and stuff the ballot box all the way to the ‘ship.
10 years ago at 11:35 amNarrowly escaping an Archer upset bid early on
10 years ago at 12:23 pmHazing lost in the first round? I’ve lost all faith in this Frat Bracket….
10 years ago at 10:32 amNot only did it not lose in the first round, but it’s currently looking like it’s going to win the second. Possibly even the third. You don’t real so well, do you boy?
10 years ago at 10:40 amYou don’t spell too well, do you boy?
10 years ago at 10:49 amI won’t even bother with stretching…I just start running…
10 years ago at 10:56 amI’m going Whiskey over Not Pulling Out, because if you DO pull out you can jizz on her face though.
10 years ago at 10:49 amI expect a George Mason type run for Intramural Sports. Highly underseeded.
10 years ago at 10:51 amJim Larranaga. FAF.
10 years ago at 3:38 pmCouldn’t have said it better myself
10 years ago at 11:11 pmIt helps that IM sports had such an easy draw into the Sweet 16 though. Embezzlement and Not Paying Dues? Come on man. Those aren’t frat…
10 years ago at 5:03 pmAgreed, but would IM sports have been seeded higher if drunk? That minor distinction could make all the difference.
10 years ago at 9:38 pmThis is the best thing this website has ever produced.
10 years ago at 10:55 amI will probably get lapped for this but I think pledges should have been a solid seed. Obviously they’re pledges so the fucking suck, but at the end of the day if we didn’t have pledges we’d just be walking into a social group.
10 years ago at 10:58 amDon’t tell them that, you pussy. Besides, hazing is up there. What’s hazing without pledges?
10 years ago at 11:14 amI hate not picking at least one underdog but I feel Natty Light and Hazing play for the Ship here and Hazing beats natty. Mostly through the use of obscenities and rage fueled by Natty light.
10 years ago at 10:58 amAdderal vs Keystone Light is probably the hardest call i’ve had to make in 4 years of college
10 years ago at 11:19 amWait until we get Natty vs cocaine in the next round
10 years ago at 1:01 pmIt’s fucking cocaine. You show me a man who’ll take a Natty briefcase over an eightball and i’ll show you a liar.
10 years ago at 2:47 pmgotta go with the blow. I’ll take a big gator tail of disco dust over drinking alcoholic water any day.
10 years ago at 2:20 amKeystone could easily be replaced with any number of shitty beers, but Addy only has a rival in cocaine which IS seeded higher. No pun intended.
10 years ago at 9:40 pmI cant believe cigs got knocked out in the first round.
10 years ago at 11:27 amIt was disappointing, but a loss to republicanism is respectable. Maybe next year?
10 years ago at 2:23 pmTough draw in the first round, but republicanism locked that one up early.
10 years ago at 9:41 pmLooks like Steve Holt got “Fired!” Hah ha I’m going to put that on Facebook!
10 years ago at 11:36 am