Unquestionable Ranking Of The 10 Best Party Schools In The Nation

10 Best Party Schools In The Nation

It’s time to rank the best party schools in the nation, because just talking about academics would be petty. By now, you should be well versed on which schools house the hottest women, which schools dominate Greek life, and which schools are the place to be on Saturdays during football season.

But what about the most quintessential piece of the college experience? Without partying, there is no fun — just a bunch of learning. Sure, you could stick to the books for four to seven years, never develop any social skills and become an extremely lonely and awkward doctor, or you could be a real human being and party your dick off for five or six years.

So what school rages harder than the rest? I’m here to settle the score. Spoiler alert: your school probably didn’t make the list (cough, A&M, cough).

Honorable Mention:Southern California, Texas State, Florida, Arkansas, University Of Texas, Ole Miss, Nebraska, Texas Tech University, Colorado State University

10. Tulane University

Tulane

Image via YouTube

You think I’m just going to leave out the school that sits in the heart of the biggest party city (sorry Vegas, you don’t count) in America? I’m not messing around when it comes to Tulane. You’re either getting fucked up on Bourbon or getting fucked by some test (followed by Bourbon). I would not hate going to Tulane at all solely for the partying 24/7. Academically, not a bad school. Athletically, pretty terrible. But partying? Tulane comes in with an A++.

Drugs, booze, and girls are flowing in the streets of New Orleans. Want a hand grenade? Go for it. Want an Irish breakfast? Do two of them shits. The only real rule in the Sin City of the South is that you drink to excess.

  1. Bill Ponderosa

    WVU deserves the #2 spot just based on the fact that Morgantown drinks 1% of all Anheuser-Busch products.

    5 years ago at 4:02 pm
  2. Jim_Webb_2016

    Meh. But it’s what I would expect from a UF grad who probably only thinks that the top ten can be fully of state schools. PSU is overrated, hasn’t been that great in awhile.

    5 years ago at 4:10 pm
    1. JayFratler

      PSU is overrated based on what? I think I speak for everyone in happy valley when I say you have to black out drunk to have any kind of fun

      5 years ago at 4:54 pm
      1. KingOfFratlinburg

        If you have to black out to have fun, it is probably because its not fun.

        5 years ago at 6:53 pm
      2. Slappyhappychap

        Rules of a psu comment 1) use some kind of nickname for your school like happy Valley etc., or mention an event that has a nickname like thon etc. 2) put your foot in your mouth by saying something moronic…… See above comment for example

        5 years ago at 5:22 am
    1. Bill Ponderosa

      If you weren’t such a goddamn alcoholic maybe you would know how punctuation works.

      5 years ago at 5:14 pm
    2. FratPoppa

      Going to class drunk, when you could just not do that – and drink more. NF.

      5 years ago at 5:49 pm
  3. Brotator Cuff

    Appreciate the cheekiness of the column title, but don’t make it so obvious that this is a troll-job. Iowa State making this list over the University of Iowa is a complete joke.

    5 years ago at 4:21 pm
  4. Fratakin Skywalker

    RIP Veishea. President Leath is truly an ass for getting rid of the most important week of the year to local businesses, clubs, alumni, and the entire Iowa State community.

    5 years ago at 4:23 pm
    1. AzamatBagatov

      You guys party one weekend out of the year and managed to somehow destroy your already pathetic excuse for a college town and kill a kid. Good riddance Veishea.

      5 years ago at 5:23 pm
      1. RichardKuntz

        Kill a kid? You’re clearly misinformed. A PIKE tried to catch a light post as it was pushed over. He took that light post to the dome instead and got knocked out. He was fine. Now shut your dick holster.

        5 years ago at 10:10 am
      2. FootballandAmerica

        Are you serious when you say that is what happened? A good friend of mine almost died during this incident, and you say he was trying to “catch” a light post? You sir, are either mentally incompetent, a gdi, or a highschooler I don’t know which one you prefer.

        5 years ago at 1:54 pm
  5. A Well Known Result

    Attending UW, you need to drink a Lake Mendota amount of booze to make some of these women look attractive.

    5 years ago at 4:25 pm
      1. A Well Known Result

        Just look at the women who reside in our Tri-Delt and Chi O houses, it’s like if the Creature from the Black Lagoon had all daughters.

        5 years ago at 5:17 pm
      2. parkerforpres

        Every school has its trollish looking women. Don’t judge the entire talent pool by the inbred farmhands

        5 years ago at 8:15 pm
    1. NightriderNoisewater

      That’s why Bill O’Reily actually put a reporter on campus to analyze the fact that we have the “sexiest student body”?

      5 years ago at 6:33 pm
  6. JakeFromState

    As a West Virginia native, and frequent visit to Morgantown I’ll say this, St Pattys day and gamedays there are two of the most magical things.

    5 years ago at 6:03 pm