The 2017 Wife Mock Draft

Kenzie Graham

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School: University of Louisville
Hometown: Paducah, KY
House: Top Tier
Major: Biology
GPA: 3.8
Hair color: Dark Brown
Height: 5′7
Weight: 130 lbs.
Cup Size: B (perky as shit)

Pros:
– Absolute showstopper. Everyone is in love with her.
– All her spring break instagram pics average around 3,000 likes.
– Golden, olive skin that is naturally tan year round. She might be an eighth Cherokee or something.
– Plays guitar and has the voice of an angel.

Cons:
– Her snap stories average about three minutes and rarely feature anything hot.
– A bit of a tease.
– Heavily involved with the ACLU.

Projected: Top 10

Outlook: Small town charm, big city looks. Planning on going to med school. Acceptance letters from Duke, NYU, and Carnegie-Mellon. She’s got everything you could possibly want. Total package. Buy high.

      1. Henry_Eighth

        Any significance to your recent change in title from SVP of Media to Editor-in-Chief?

        7 years ago at 1:16 pm
  1. Fratty Couples PGA

    I don’t believe in saying “good job” but I actually enjoyed this. And Lauren Mitchell is already lowkey talking to like three dudes, one of whom just earned a Tour Card. Don’t shoot the messenger.

    7 years ago at 1:14 pm
  2. jizzrag69v2

    Maddie Schwartz has an באַט made for אַנאַל and I will help myself.

    7 years ago at 4:39 pm
  3. thevaginator

    Sigmanugs mom:
    Pros:
    -freak In the sack
    -an easy on call fuck 24/7
    -deep anus

    Cons:
    -not a lot of tread left on the tires.

    Projection: Late 7th to undrafted

    7 years ago at 4:53 pm
      1. thevaginator

        Not quite junior. By the way when you guys fuck who’s pitching and who’s catching? You always seemed to strike me as someone who would enjoy taking it. Fucking loser.

        7 years ago at 10:50 am
  4. House of Paign

    “Taylor Swift on steroids”? Hell yeah, I would strap in and ride that bronc till she threw me.

    7 years ago at 5:15 pm
  5. No_menstruating_allowed

    I’d fuck Maddie Schwartz’s anus so hard the Israelis would send Mossad after me like a Nazi who escaped to Argentina.

    7 years ago at 7:16 pm
  6. HighballsWithGrandma

    Don’t sit there and talk like Julie King isn’t the obvious answer. Because it’s pretty clear she’s the answer.

    7 years ago at 8:41 pm
  7. BobMotherFuckingBarker

    Gotta agree with you here, attitude and crazy too often get lumped together. Consider Desi mid round sleeper with first round quality

    7 years ago at 1:37 am